Reducing Stress by Living Simply

Recently, I spent ten days in a local motel room, due to a construction mishap that resulted in the entire bottom floor of my house being flooded. As the days went by, I was struck by the reality of how little it actually takes to live. A roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, a place to bathe, clothes to wear, and food to eat was really all that was necessary. In fact, I felt an incredible sense of freedom, while living this simplified life. Each night, as I returned to my solitary room, with its sparse furnishings, I would immediately feel a calmness and an inner tranquility. The stress seemed to melt away.

This caused me to meditate on how we spend so much of our lives acquiring material possessions. And after we have filled our houses to overflowing with treasures, we pile things into our garages and basements, and even rent storage space for our surplus belongings. All of these things we accumulate do not bring us lasting happiness or satisfaction. True contentment seems to continually elude us, regardless of how much we own. In fact, the more we have, the more stress we add to our lives. We are never free from the worry that we will somehow lose what we have acquired, or that someone will damage or steal our valuables. Most of us work long hours, at a demanding job, in order to pay for all our purchases. We also spend a great deal of time maintaining and caring for our riches.

In her book, Nothing Left Over, Toinette Lippe profoundly states, "In truth, it is not the number and diversity of our possessions that is the problem, but our attachment to them." It is a fact that too many of us are possessed by our possessions. We put bars on our windows, and install elaborate alarm systems in our homes, because we fear being robbed of our prized belongings.

Now that I am getting older, and have experienced the loss of several people close to me, I look at life differently. For instance, I have finally started using my best china. Several months ago, I realized that my life is at least half over. When I die, it is doubtful that my daughter will cherish my beautiful dishes, in the "Old Country Roses" pattern, the same way that I have. She will probably want her own pattern of fine china (likely something modern and chic) and mine could very well end up in a garage sale. (Heaven Forbid.) So I have reasoned, why not enjoy the dishes now? What am I saving them for-my funeral wake? And this applies to so many things I own-my collection of depression era cake plates, my crystal, my teacups and even my living room furniture.

Being in the antique and collectible business, I often go to thrift stores and estate sales. The first estate sale I ever attended, brought me to tears. Apparently, the deceased woman had been a competing majorette. All of her costumes and trophies were for sale. But the thing that made me cry, was that her diaries were also for purchase. I could not believe that no one cared about her journals. These were her most intimate thoughts and memories. In my opinion, they were too sacred to sell. But apparently, none of her relatives considered them of great worth. Every time I shop at an estate sale, I am aware that I am looking at the trappings of someone's life. This makes me more aware of my own mortality, and I have decided that I would prefer to take inventory now, rather than have others bartering for my personal possessions later.

About a year ago, I started to declutter my house, with the hope of decluttering my mind as well. When things are not in order, I cannot think clearly. I realized quickly, that there are so many things that I own, that someone else would enjoy. So if I do not use something or love it, I've started selling it in my antique and flea market booths, or giving it away.

More and more lately, if someone admires something I have, and I do not desperately want or need it, I give it to them. It is a way to test my attachment to things. (We may think we are not attached to something, but just try and release it. This is often more difficult than imagined.) People are not accustomed to such generosity, and they sometimes hesitate to accept my gesture. But many more see it as a blessing, not just from me, but from God. This is similar to the concept of "paying it forward." It encourages the recipient to do the same for someone else, while it also greatly simplifies my life, to periodically let go of things. Why should I hoard something that someone else may need? What often becomes clutter to me, may bring fulfillment to someone else. It's a matter of living with less, in order to gain something more valuable.

I would like to add, that when I contemplate a simplified life, I do not consider only what is needed, but also what is beautiful, and what makes me feel good. For life is certainly more than the necessary (essential and required) things. The quality of my life is greatly enhanced by things that are lovely, and things that make me smile. I enjoy fresh flowers and scented candles. It is essential to find out what makes you happy, and then keep yourself surrounded by things that make your soul sing.

My daughter remarked to me recently, "My life is so complicated!" I understand her struggle, for it has taken me half a century to understand the value of simplicity. Interestingly enough, simple means "uncomplicated." It's all about having a plan, and getting organized. It's also important to be able to say "no" when needed, to prevent becoming over committed. Learning to delegate responsibilities is another way to simplify. No one can do everything. Having a schedule may seem like a bondage, but in actuality, it is the first step to freedom. Too often, we do not have boundaries in our lives, that enable us to complete our work tasks, while also leaving time to relax and enjoy some form of leisure.

The things I enjoy most are not complex-a crackling fire, an engaging book, a cup of hot chocolate, a pleasant meal, good music, a porch swing, or a cozy rocking chair. Diamonds and rubies pale in comparison to the beauty of purple mountains, an emerald ocean, or a silvery stream rushing down a creek bed. (These are the things that soothe my soul.)

Perhaps the greatest secret to living simply, is to live fully in the present moment. James Dean once said, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." Too often we project our happiness into some distant future, neglecting the gift of today. We have so many plans, yet we will never be fulfilled, or enjoy freedom from anxiety, until we realize that it is not the "doing" that is important, but the "being." Money cannot buy a sense of well being or serenity. Everyone needs quiet times of reflection, apart from all of the stress and daily distractions of life. We have to take care of ourselves, and set aside time to do the things that bring us joy and stimulate creativity. This most definitely means turning off the television, DVD player, and computer.

In the end, all that we acquire materially, is only temporary. But the things that nourish and sustain the spirit are eternal and timeless. These are the true treasures of life.

Source: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/james_dean.html
Lippe, Toinette (2002) Nothing Left Over: A Plain and Simple Life, New York, NY: Tarcher/Penguin