Reducing Wedding Stress: A How-To Guide

Has planning your wedding left you feeling more than a little stressed? With a budget, guest list and hundreds of details piled on your plate you may feel like an enormous wedding bell has been placed on your shoulders! How can you make time to relax? Where can you find help? How do you get your life back amidst the shopping and planning that have taken over?

Get Organized
The first step is to get organized. Planning a wedding is no small task even for the most determined bride. You will need to start by making a list of your tasks for the next 12 months. Common bridal checklists are helpful in determining your monthly to-do lists, but you will need to customize it to fit your specific planning situation. Having an organized list will save time, confusion and ultimately a lot of stress. Start by purchasing or 3-ring binder, dividers and a whole punch (if you don't have one). You'll want to keep your lists, contact information, ideas and calendars together in one spot and you can carry your binder with you to meetings with all of your wedding vendors. Adding clear pouches will give a place to store pages from magazines, sample invitations, fabric samples and other inspiring ideas. You should have sections for notes and vendor proposals as well.

Start Working on That Budget
Weddings cost money and if you haven't determined a budget (how much you have to spend and what things are going to cost), then you may find yourself stressed over the costs of "necessities." Before you've contacted any vendors sit down with your wedding consultant and your family and determine the total amount that you'll have to spend. In order to get to this number, you will need to determine who is contributing to the cost of your wedding. Traditionally the bride's family pays for most of the cost, but this is not always the case today. Many couples are paying for their own weddings and families are sharing the bill as well. Determining your budget before you begin shopping will help you set priorities for your wedding. You can avoid the stress of overspending by setting a limit before you meet with vendors and develop your guest list. Determine what you will spend on your rings, your dress, flowers and food, and how many guests you can invite.

Create A Guest List
How much trouble could it be to put together a guest list? You've run through a list of your family and friends and it seems reasonable. Now you'll need to check with your parents, your fiancée and his parents. The list begins to grow. Knowing what your limit is up front will set boundaries on who you can invite. Will you invite all of your friends from the office? Will you invite close friends and family only? By establishing a guideline before you start your list, you can avoid having to cut your guest list or overextend your budget. You'll also limit the family friction by letting everyone know up front how many people you can afford to invite.

Pencil Yourself In
Include your regular activities in your planning checklist to keep you from reaching your point of meltdown. Schedule your wedding tasks between workouts and lunch with your best friend. Take time for a movie, a phone call with a friend or a massage. Complete one or two tasks each day to keep from overwhelming yourself and those helping you.

Be Careful When Asking For Help
Speaking of that best friend, is there anything she can do to help? Be careful how much responsibility you place on your maid-of-honor. Your expectations may be too high. By asking her to be in your wedding you have assigned her an automatic to-do list, which may include helping you choose your dress, the bridesmaids dresses, shoes, hairstyles, and the list goes on. By counting on her for too much you may add more stress for both of you. Remember to thank her often for her contributions and most importantly, remember that you friendship comes first - you'll need her!

Hire A Wedding Planner
Have you weighed all of your options? What about a wedding consultant? If you haven't yet considered a hiring a profession planner or think that it's just not in your budget, you may be missing the boat. In fact, by hiring the right wedding planner you can actually save money, stress and time. The wedding planner can help you find reliable vendors that are within your price range and many times she can save you money by negotiating with vendors. She will help you to avoid hidden costs and may even review your contracts for you. The day of your wedding, your wedding planner will arrive several hours before you to oversee setup and deliveries. She will act on your behalf to handle discrepancies and problems throughout the event. You'll need to do your research in finding the right vendor though. You'll want to hire someone that works well with you, listens to you, and has experience with the type of event you're planning. If you have a really tight budget but still need help, try to find a wedding coordinator. This vendor will focuses on helping you the day of the event only. She'll review your contracts, coordinate with your vendors and will make sure that things run smoothly on the big day. Now that's stress relief!

Remember that planning is the key to a successful event. Begin your planning as soon as possible after your engagement and accomplish a little bit each day from your to-do list. We are sometimes so involved with our wedding plans that we lose perspective. Take time for yourself, make time for family and friends, and try to avoid some of the mistakes that cause family friction. Setting your budget early and following a plan will be the keys to a happy stroll down the aisle.