Reflections on the February 13, 2011 Grammy Awards Ceremony from Los Angeles' Staples Center

What can you say about a category that pits Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Susan Boyle, Katy Perry and John Mayer against one another for Best Pop Vocal Album? Surely a "WTF?" moment. Gaga won and thanked all her Little Monsters and her "beautiful sister, Natalie" and Whitney Houston because, Lady Gaga said, she never thought she could be a super-star. "I had this dream when I was really young that I could be whatever I wanted to be. I wanted to thank Whitney (Houston), because, when I wrote '˜Born This Way' I wasn't secure enough in myself to imagine that I could be a SuperStar."

JUSTIN BIEBER

For openers, it appears that Justin Bieber is the Rodney Dangerfield of the music industry, --- at least for this year's Grammies. By that, I mean, "he don't get no respect," as Rodney was so fond of saying. Justin probably won't care, since he's making money hand over fist, but when he loses out as Best New Artist to someone named Esperanza Spalding -- well, let's just say that it's midnight and the coach has turned back into a pumpkin. I didn't see the Biebs get a single award, but I did watch that obnoxious son of Will Smith's horn in on dancing around onstage with young Mr. Bieber. [Are there 2 more really annoying children of stars in America than Jaden Smith and Willow Smith, Jaden's sister? It's difficult not to want to smack them both. Did you notice that only Mom and Dad stood up to give the kid a standing ovation?] Favorite Bieber line of the evening came from Train, who won for Best Duo or Group ("Hey, Soul Sister") and said, "Thanks, Justin Bieber, for not being a duo or a group." I think the Biebs had something like 12 nominations, but I saw no Grammies going his way.

LADY ANTEBELLUM

Big winners of the night: Lady Antebellum for "Need You Now." The group made so many trips to the podium that the male members of the group changed into tuxedoes in between all the walking around. This triumph for Lady Antebellum suited me just fine. For one thing, I liked the song. For another, the daughter does something for them in Nashville in a peripheral capacity (handling $ related) and was excited about their numerous wins. Another welcome win, for me: Arcade Fire. Why? I heard they were good and had the presence of mind to purchase the Grammy-winning Album of the Year ("The Suburbs") for the same Nashville native daughter for a Christmas present, [thus proving I'm not hopelessly square. Thank you, Vince Liaguno, for cluing me in to Arcade Fire.]

WEIRDEST THINGS I SAW AT THE GRAMMIES

And, no, I don't mean any Lady Gaga outfits (no meat dresses and shoes, this year; she actually looked relatively normal during her performance, although her short black acceptance attire was pure Gaga). No, what I'm still scratching my head over is Ricky Martin's skin-tight silver jeans. (I realize that Ricky is gay, which is fine with me and everyone else. But his outfit looked like he had a split personality, as he was wearing a white shirt, dark tie, dark jacket -- all very conservative -- and then these skin-tight silver jeans pants. I found his outfit "weirder" than anything Gaga put on tonight (even the short black thing with the butt and boob pads). It gave me the same feeling that you get when you see someone like Cybill Shepherd wearing a gorgeous long flowing gown with tennis shoes (which I have seen). Incongruous. Didn't fit. Split personality. Another WTF? moment:

Bob Dylan, backed by TEN guys screaming their guts out while Dylan "sang' (I use the term loosely with Dylan, as always) with a non-functioning microphone. He was holding a portable mike in his right hand. Why didn't he use that one? [The microphone on the stand in front of him obviously was not doing the job.] The lyric "Ain't gonna' work on Maggie's bar" should have been changed to "Ain't gonna' be heard too far." [What was THAT all about?]

John Mayer, looking scruffy and obviously needing the teleprompter to read the words to "Jolene," which he was singing with Keith Urban and Nora Jones to honor Dolly Parton with a Lifetime Achievement Award. [John: clean up your act or you'll lose your hard-won reputation as a sex symbol.]

Fire. Lots and lots of fire. A repressed pyromaniac apparently put the stage show together.

Also weird: the list of Lifetime Achievement Awards, which lumped the Julliard String Quartet, Julie Andrews, the Kingston Trio, The Ramones, Dolly Parton, George Beverly Shea and somebody else into one odd category. Talk about unlikely grouping.

Much better and displaying actual vocal talent was the opening tribute to the ill Aretha Franklin (rumors say pancreatic cancer). After a girl group sang, Aretha was shown live, via satellite. The rousing opening number featured Jennifer Hudson, Cristina Aguilera, Martina McBride, Florence Welch and Yolanda Adams singing a medley of the Aretha hits that have won her 18 Grammies. "You make me feel like a natural woman" and "RESPECT" never sounded better.

That leads me to some positive comments:.

MOST IMPRESSIVE

Jennifer Hudson's smokin' hot body goes so well with her fantastic voice. You go, Girl! It gives me hope that Weight Watchers can make a new woman of me. (Ha!) I was also impressed (as always) with Mick Jagger's first-ever appearance on the Grammy stage as a performer (Why was Mick never a performer before now?). Mick was so in command of the stage and so impressive in his green tuxedo-styled suit jacket. As the lights went up to reveal he was standing there, back to the audience, someone held a gold cape behind him, reminiscent of James Brown's (The Godfather of Soul) use of a cape, which made me smile. I've seen the Rolling Stones, "live" twelve times. [If there is a better live performer than Mick Jagger, one who understands how to command and control an audience's attention better, I haven't seen them since the Beatles broke up and I've seen a few -- including the Beatles, Pink Floyd, U2, Billy Joel, Elton John, et. al..] I spoke with the daughter after the evening's performances. She agreed that Mick's teal-green jacket and his energetic moves and "chutzpah" were impressive. I liked Streisand's turn, but mostly from a nostalgic point-of-view, since the song she sang and wrote ("Evergreen") featured the line "ageless."

I'd like to believe that.

Meanwhile, congratulations to all, especially to Lady Antebellum who really cleaned up at the Grammies this year.