Regaining Trust Again

We have all heard the saying that trust is a precious thing, and when that trust is broken it is very hard to regain. The one who was betrayed becomes afraid to trust any further and they have plenty of doubts. The one who broke the trust starts to feel that everything they do is under constant scrutiny, which in large part is true. Whether it was a little lie such as being out late or infidelity, there are ways to rebuild the trust that was lost. I have compiled a basic four step process as follows:

The first thing is to admit to what you have done. Don't make any excuses for the lie, for there are not any. Try to understand the other persons anger over the situation. Accepting the blame for your actions and owning up to them will go a long way. With this first step, remember to be completely honest admit the entire lie, without omitting anything. Keep in mind a lie of omission is still a lie.

The next phase is to apologize, but don't be surprised if the apology is not accepted right away. The person who was betrayed by the lie will need time to come to terms with the lie. While making the apology also start making amends, tell the person who has been betrayed what you will do to starting reestablishing trust. Make no promises that you don't intend to keep.

The third phase is one of action. The promises made in the second phase you must put into action, whether it is calling if you are going to be late, promising more time with the other person, or even helping around the house. The follow through is very important. This step will be one that you will have to stay on the longest. It is important to remain constant on the promises made and the lines of communication must be kept open.

The last step in the process is to remember that it will take time before trust to be rebuilt. It only takes a matter of minutes to destroy trust, but it will take a long time to regain that trust. The process to regain trust is a long and slow journey. There will be points where the person who was lied to will doubt the words and promises of the one who lied, and that is to be expected. Only through actions and time will that person be able to trust again. Remaining constant with the promises made and keeping the lines of honest communication open will bring the trust that was lost.