Regifting Etiquette for Christmas and Other Occasions

I re-gift all the time. I used to re-gift only when I couldn't use a gift or I needed a gift for someone else and I either couldn't find the right gift or I couldn't afford to get a gift. But now, I re-gift parts of special items that I've received, or have too much of, and want to share the fun with others.

There's a network of us, friends, partners and family, who intentionally give to each other knowing that some of the items that we're giving will be passed on. Sometimes it's so much fun that we have to stop and remind ourselves to keep some of the gifts. We also tell each other which items we don't want to be given away, that need to be kept for personal use. Other times we deliberately give with the intention of giving each other the opportunity to have the pleasure of giving to others.

These are the principles that I practice in giving gifts that are given to me:

1. Unless the gift is given with the specific understanding that I'm going to share it with others, and I get the gift from someone who doesn't participate in the group re-gifting that we do then I make sure to give the gift to someone who's not in the same region, area or circle of friends as the giver if it might offend or hurt the giver and the recipient.

2. Depending upon the giver, I will sometimes tell them that I gave the gift to someone else with the explanation that they had a bigger need for it or had seen it and liked it so much that I just had to give it to them. If it's one in our network, then I tell them that I just couldn't resist giving it away, that someone needed it more than I did.

3. Many times I don't tell the giver that I gave their gift away to another if I know that they would be hurt or offended.

4. The gift must be an item that is quality, attractive and desirable to the receiver. It needs to be a gift that they would value, not just to pass it on, so that I don't have it in my house. It must be in good condition.

5. The item can't be used if it was originally given to me as new. In other words I can't try it out then pass it on.

6. Even though I didn't go out and acquire this gift, I still need to approach it the same way I would a gift that I would buy for this person. I need to consider the individual and whether the gift would be useful or attractive to them.

7. Some gifts I don't give away because I know that I need to honor the giver in what they gave to me since I know what a sacrifice they made to give it to me.

8. I've also been given gifts that were specific for me that I just knew that I had to give the gift away to an individual because their need was greater than mine. In that case, I always get permission from the giver and include then in the giving.

If the permission is withheld, I honor that and don't give the gift. That doesn't happen very often. In my experience, the giver usually wants to be included in the giving to a greater need.

9. This point is a tangent on re-gifting. This is the giving of a well used item that was given to you and you re-give it to another. For example, before my roommate married, one of my gifts to her was a small wall poster about keeping a husband well preserved. When it came time for my wedding my ex-roommate's daughter gave that same poster to me, with her inscription and dedication on the back, as her wedding gift to us. To this day that poster is displayed on one of our walls with wonderful memories attached to it. Another example is the crystal pitcher and handmade quilt that my mother-in-law gave us from her grandmother and that were well loved by the time they came to us.

10. Another practice that I've used is when I've received a gift and I know that someone else has really wanted that gift, but they didn't receive that item, I will give it to them. Especially if I know that it's going to make their day/week/year, that it's going to serve as an encouragement to them. In this case, I usually don't tell the giver unless they're in our network of re-gifters.

These are my guidelines for re-gifting. They aren't in any particular order. Some of them you will find necessary for your recycling of gifts. But you will most likely come up with some of your own that will suit your situation.