Re-Gifting the Right Way

Most of us have received it at least once in our life: the present we do not like, do not want, and do not know what to do with. It can be an item, we already have too much of, or an item that does not fit our taste or we simply have no use for at all. If returning it to the store is not an option, we could trash it, donate it, or let it take up space in a closet, attic, or basement. Yet, more often than not, we go ahead and freely re-gift the item to somebody else. However, re-gifting comes with the risk of offending the original giver and/or new recipient, if the gift is 'ousted' as a re-gift.

Re-gifting has been a longtime practice and has become more and more common. Nowadays, most people find it normal to re-gift an unwanted item. Yet, it is not quite socially acceptable to do so. Therefore, the re-gifting is done quietly. Ideally, nobody but the re-gifter should know about the re-gift part of the giving. Nobody wants to hurt feelings and most definitely, nobody wants to look like a cheapskate.

The primary goal of re-gifting is to get rid of an unwanted present without hurting the feelings of the original giver or the new recipient. The original giver might be offended, because the 're-gifter' did not want the gift. The new recipient might be offended, because he or she received a 'cast-off'. This can be the case, even if the new recipient wanted the item and has use for it

A re-gifter has to follow certain basic rules to avoid pitfalls that could 'out' the re-gift as what it is, a re-gift. As a first rule, the re-gifter should mark down, who gave that unwanted present to him or her. Re-gifting the item back to the original giver is definitely a big no-no. We have received a Christmas present from my mother-in-law that had been given by us to my mother-in-law the previous year. Similarly a neighbor re-gifted a Christmas present to us that we had given to the neighbor the year before. One of my children received a re-gift at her birthday party that she had given to that particular child for her birthday just two months earlier. Obviously, the present deja vu was kind of weird and I had to bite my tongue in each case as to not to point out the re-gift.

In each case the gift was given back to us, because the re-gifters did not take note of who gave the present to them. Especially, if many presents are received at one time, it is difficult to keep track of who gave what. Yet, for re-gifting purposes, every effort should be made to keep track of such things. It is perfectly acceptable to mark down, who gave a present in order to be able to write proper 'Thank-you' notes later on. You can also keep the gift cards, gift tags, or gift wrapping with the present to somehow quietly mark it.

A careful selection of the new recipient is also very important. Ideally, the original giver and new recipient should not know each other, nor should they have common friends or work at the same place. This way, there is no chance of the original giver or new recipient to discover the re-gift part of your giving. People, who have seen you open that present, should also not be able to pass on that information. Although, it is not always possible to completely go outside of the circle of common friends, family, or acquaintances, the more distance you can put between the original giver and new recipient, the better.

When you get ready to re-gift, thoroughly examine the present. Make sure there are no additional notes from the original giver attached to the present or inside the box. Such notes or personalizations are a dead give-away for a re-gift. Thus, never ever re-gift an un-opened present that is still in its original wrapping paper. You just cannot be sure about what is inside.

Lastly, if you get caught re-gifting you should fess up as nicely as you can. The excuse that you just liked the present so much you had to get the same item for the new recipient does not quite work, if you don't have a second of such items in your possession.