Relationship Advice: How Do You Know when You're with "The One?"

So you're in a relationship, and you love your significant other so much, that sometimes you think you'll burst from the excitement of it all and the depth of your emotions. But is he or she "The One?" The age-old question, "Will I ever find The One, who's right for me?" Or, do soul mates exist? It's human nature to, at some point in a relationship, question whether or not the one we are with is "The One" or our "Soul Mate." These questions are perfectly normal, and aren't an indicator that your relationship is doomed- nor do they mean you haven't found "The One" yet.

First, what is a "Soul Mate," or, "The One?" And how do you know if you've found him or her? The urge to find our soul mate, is something that has plagued us for thousands of years. The theory of soul mates has been around for thousands of years. In looking at the history of the idea of soul mates, we find that there are at least two differing theories about soul mates, and how they are soul mates.

The first is that a soul mate is one whom you've shared another life and time, through the belief of reincarnation. In this theory, the soul mate can be a sibling, parent, lover, friend or some other close relationship from a past life. In this belief, soul mates can be of the same sex or of the opposite sex.

The second belief about soul mates is that a soul mate is a person's other half. This theory is that two people spend their lives looking for their "other half", or, "soul mate." The idea that two people are one soul split apart is the most common in people who believe in soul mates.

So, how do you know whether or not you've found "The One?" First things first, I do believe there's one person out there that each person is more compatible with. But we aren't limited to one person and one person only, for life. I know many people who have found love for the second time, and been just as happy as the first, after being widowed. And you may find more than one "Soul Mate" in a lifetime as well.

A dictionary definition of soul mates is one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. Based on this definition, this to me definitely indicates that a person could find more than one "soul mate" in a lifetime. If you can be compatible with someone, to the point of calling him or her a soul mate, then you have found "the one." How do you know whether or not you are compatible with someone?

If you find yourself able to converse with your significant other about various topics, and you find that you both tend to agree, then you're likely compatible. If you find that you both have the same interests, values and goals- then you are likely compatible with your significant other. But always agreeing or always having the same hobbies, is not the key to being compatible. Compatibility is more about temperament and the ability to compromise, the willingness to compromise, and then of course the mental and emotional connection you have with someone.

I've found my Soul Mate. After being married twice before, I was very disillusioned with love and the idea of love- until I met my husband now. Five years later, I am completely convinced that soul mates do exist and I have found mine. Do I think he is the only man I could have ever been happy with? No, likely not. But I do think and believe that I am happy because he is my soul mate. He and I were meant for each other. We both love each other, unconditionally. We compromise when we need to, and we both know when to give or when to take. We meet each other's needs, and in doing so, our individual needs are met within our relationship. That's the way it's supposed to be for love and relationships. To me, that's what soul mates are all about.

To find your "one", or to know if you are with "The One," assess whether or not your relationship is one that fulfills you and your partner. Are both of you committed to one another and meeting one another's needs? Do you both find peace and happiness with one another, whether or not you always agree or have the same wants? Are you able to compromise and find happiness in the very act of compromising? Do you love just spending time with your partner? Do you enjoy making your partner happy? Do you both give and take as needed? That's how you'll know you've found "the one" and that you are with your soul mate.