Relationship Advice: Slow Down Ladies!!

Dating today has become a push-pull cycle of wants and needs. What can you give and what can you get? Everyone single person I know wants to get into a relationship and everyone I know that is in a relationship wants out. This, the first decade of the new millennium has seen some ebb and flow to the tides of dating. Women are more independent and sexually free that ever before. Men are much more flexible as well, some say too much so.

In a recent poll men were asked what they think of a woman that agrees to have sex with him on the first date and whips out her own condom. The results were not favorable. Sex is easy to get, always so for women, now very true for men. It's not as rare a specialty item anymore but still it seems guys are more comfortable when things more at a more reasonable pace. Sex too soon with a girl that whips out her own condom is still a bad signal to men that maybe she is doing this fairly regularly. Insert double standard here.

If it's ok and bravo for a guy to score fast, then why is it still criminal for a girl to do it and be smart about protecting them both? Since cheating and disease is more rampant that anyone cares to admit, why take chances?

Sex too soon is never a good idea anyway. Women release the attachment hormone (Oxytocin) during sex, and men are not sure what makes them a good guy or a bad guy anymore, the playing field is still pretty confusing. Women have more control than ever and they seem to be placed in situations that require them to make decisions when they are in a Pheromone/Oxytocin high. Men (usually, but not always) are Testosterone poisoned and aren't thinking clearly to begin with.

With men living with Mom and Dad longer and stability seems out of reach have been relying on the love relationship to carry the load. Woman are often more stable as far as living situation and finance and men seem to need more from a girl than just romance.

Men have complained for years about gold-diggers and women wanting to date men with money but now it seems that more women are experiencing dating the lost lambs. The often over sensitive somewhat neurotic male that attempts passive aggressive dominational tactics to keep his woman in check suck as eavesdropping in on her phone calls, demanding to know where she is at all times, guilting her into helping him with every little personal task. It's pure emotional espionage and resource embezzlement.

Women have yet to acclimatize to this male neurosis and neediness. Most women are attracted to strong masculine capable males and they just don't seem to be finding men of such type. As the era of the knuckle scraping Neanderthal is long ended and the time of the metro-sexual is now, where is the happy medium? What is the best collaboration and integration of male characteristics to result in the strong, sweet sensitive guy that doesn't need to conquer you or be mommied by you?

Everyone needs help sometimes, nobody does it all alone. Supporting eachother and the people we love is what makes the human bond and makes life bearable. If you love someone of course you want to help them and see them thrive but it takes time to get to that level of commitment. When someone tries to jump into your world too quickly and take you over emotionally it's a sigh that they may possess some stability issues.

I recently dated this powerfully handsome young man who was not only incredibly attractive but also he was very needy. He needed a job, a place to live and a girlfriend. I was in the market to provide none of those things and it made me wonder, did he want to be with me, or was he coveting my address the whole time? People crash, life is tough and sometimes you have to start over. This happens to us all.

Ladies please, for your own well being, wait until you know a guy before offering too much help. If you are dating a guy older than 28 he should have some form of stability in his life, we all flail sometimes and it's wonderful when someone special is there to help. It is also very wonderful when the person we are helping IS SPECIAL and not just this month's sick cow.