Relationship Alert: Crazy Girlfriend or Jerky Boyfriend?
A Look at Jealousy and a Question of Sanity
Since females don't possess such an abundance of the devil's hormone (testosterone), I suppose it is impossible for us to understand why men behave the way they do. On the other side of things though, men should realize that women actually have feelings, and they don't like having them hurt. How hard can it possibly be to just NOT be annoying all the frickin time? I swear to God I am a logical person, and I have perfected the art of hiding my girlie craziness, but it doesn't seem to have really done me any good at all.
I suck up so many things every day that piss me off simply to avoid a fight. And I constantly go out of my way to do things I hate just to be a good girlfriend. It seems, though, that all of this has gone unnoticed. How many hours a day do I spend cooking crap that I can't even eat just to make him happy? I always swore that whenever I got married, my vegetarian ass would never dream of cooking meat for my man, but I abandoned that idea because I like to do nice things. (And I'm not even NEAR married). I can complain about having a backache all day long, and then be asked to give HIM a back massage, and comply without complaining. At the first hint of hunger/discomfort/annoyance/unhappiness I'll jump straight out of bed into the cold to fix whatever the problem is. Is there something genetically wrong with women that they should want so bad to make their man happy that they are willing to put up with endless crap? Is there something about men that makes them automatically blind to the sacrifices that their women make on their behalf?
Now let me get back to my original point... why is it that if a girl gets jealous about something their man does it makes them psycho? What's even sicker is that if I give a good guy friend a hug or something, my boyfriend will get mad and it's ok. And sickest of all is that for some reason, it makes me feel good to know that he cares enough to not want other guys to touch me. Am I insane or is it ALWAYS ok for the guy to get jealous? Even when my girlfriends say that their jealous boyfriends are annoying, its obvious that something about it makes them feel secure. I wish to Christ that guys could take it the same way. The last thing I ever want to be is a "crazy girl", so I brush off countless things; but the moment I am justifiably upset about something......what do ya know?......I am "acting like all those crazy girls". I feel like I can't win.
In what has been a pretty damn perfect relationship, our first fight is honestly a fight because he made it that way. I really went out of my way to talk calmly and make sure he knew I was not trying to fight with him or be bitchy. At that moment, I actually and truly felt proud of myself for acting like an adult (instead of being super annoying and cocky like I wanted to be), and still it did me no good at all. I know I am not the only girl out there who feels this way. I wouldn't trade my boyfriend for anyone else in the world, and no one else can make me half as happy as he does. I just really, really, really wish that it would be a little more equal between us. I think I'm right in saying that NO girl in the world is going to feel good about their boyfriend flirting with other girls (even if it is completely innocent).
I think that if a girl truly cares about her guy, then she wants to feel important. But I will settle for much, much less- I don't even need to be made to feel important as long as I don't have to hear about how hot my friends are, or suffer through countless remarks about every chick on every movie. Girls don't need to be told that they are beautiful every day or anything, but wow, would it be nice to just feel like we weren't being compared all the time.
I am not a man hater, or here to bash guys or anything, but I truly want to know what is up with this crap. I'm sure plenty of girls will have comments of how they can relate or whatever, but I really want to understand from a man's standpoint what is going on with this. Men: does any of this make sense? Any comments are invited as I would love to get a view of this from all angles.
*note* I was pretty pissed off when I wrote this
Published by lonnie difranco
I am 25 years old. I spend basically all my time on the computer, listening to music, playing games, or otherwise cooking.(I have been a vegetarian for 5 years). I have been playing piano since age 3, and ha... View profile
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14 Comments
Post a CommentI know how you felt. In my stand point I experienced it as well a week or two weeks ago. Until now I am still mad on my fiance. I got into the point that I am so piss that I told him that "whenever you have time to grow up let me know." and I give my engagement ring back to him. Because honestly, men that disrespect women are still immature. There are things that they need to learn more about relationship and commitment and why women act jealous whenever they pry on someone else. As a woman I need to protect how I feel and my dignity, so I have to take a stand for myself and set my foot down and say NO to immature macho men. I reality it takes a real men to please a woman. If a woman is displease on their man's behavior it either change or be it.
Sorry meant that men don't seem to know how to respect women.
At the minute I am going through that exact feeling.I don't know what else to do regarding the lack of communication and understanding of the matter.I read this and thought wow it's not just me.I am not crazy.I would love respect but I don't think men get it at all.I was never a jealous person until this relationship.And like you I have had to bottle alot.Thing is I think its starting to effect us cause Im bottling so much and when I try to talk to him He doesnt want to listen or Im one of those crazy girls.Also writing this being pissed off and fed up.
Thanks for the comment, Annabelle. This is just the type of support I love to hear from other women. So many guys were unhappy with what I had to say, but as long as us girls stick together, I think that proves that a lot of us feel this way (or have at some time). I published this article quite a while ago, and have seperated from, and had no contact with this guy. But you are right, I don't think I should have to deal with certain negative things in my relationships, and no girl should. My wish is that someday, all deserving girls and women will be treated like queens, and taken care of with love, support, and RESPECT!! A lot of girls don't get jelous over their guys talking about other women, but I know I am definitely not alone in feeling this way. Thanks for your comment; support like this is so beneficial to not only me, but other girls who read this. It gives confidence and a sense of worth, which is just what girls need to make sure they are not stuck in a bad relationship. Tha
Wow, you start out describing how things are unbalanced...you have a backache and you give him a backrub. You jump just to make the guy happy, but he can't even keep his mouth shut out of respect during a movie? You claim this is a near perfect relationship and you wouldn't give your guy up for anything. Ask yourself this? Are you worth nothing? This relationship sounds AWFUL. I'm sure there are wonderful things about it, but this is what I'm hearing. The relationship is unbalanced, THIS IS WHY YOU FEEL UNIMPORTANT. Get OUT! Leave the guy behind. You are worth more than this.
haha, i have the megan fox problem too. it sux, cuz he makes me hate girls for no reason, and then i get pissed off every time i see them. and of course, he cant shut his mouth when ever he sees them. its rediculous. i guess i should be pretty used to it by now, and sometimes i dont mind, but, i swear, most of the things that come out of his mouth are super inappropriate, and that drives me nuts! ahhhh!!! still love the guy tho; hes great in many other ways, but i wish he would grow up a little sometimes. boys......sigh... :P
yeah, im in a different relationship now, and its the same thing but like 100 times worse. he has actually told me that he must be an idiot or mentally retarded because he can NOT stop commenting on "hot girls". also if you are gonna check out other chicks, dont make is so obvious, right?!! i seriously cant imagine not being able to censor myself. i think it is some sort of addiction or disease for him, its very strange. i appreciate the comment! -lonnie
I just had a fight with my bf.for him telling me how hot his frends girlfrend..and its not the first time.he is 35 and still hungry!!! I have the same dilamma if I should kick his a.s!Im sick and tierd of his endless excitement,look,interest,talk about any other hot girl around.But,I dont shut up as you do.if he has no care for me why should I??? Why should you??? if he makes me feel like a s.h.t than I make sure that Im telling him how s.h.t he is while doing it.Is there a solutuon? Not really.If they had one of that really hot chicks than they wouldnt be like that but they cant effort one! They have us cause they dont neet to work to make us happy,they dont need to worry about if we cheat on them,we take full responsibility so they dont or less,they are so selfishly feel secure with us and enjoy the hotties around.
Wow - what an ignorant and generalizing article.
You're a doormat, and he's a creep. get some self-esteem and DTMFA - you can do better.