Relationship Issues: Can I Still Text and Call Opposite Gender Friends If I Am in a Relationship?
Texting, Talking, Social Sites, Hanging Out and Relationship Protocol
Let's first begin by saying that simply chatting, texting or talking on the phone with a platonic friend of the opposite sex is not 'wrong'. There's nothing 'wrong' with friendly conversation. And that's the kind of texting or talking that this article deals with. Just a friendly 'hi how are?' or 'what's up?' text message or call is not 'bad' in and of itself.
However, texting and calling friends of the opposite sex becomes an issue if it bothers your boyfriend/girlfriend. If your boyfriend/ girlfriend is not comfortable with you texting friends of the opposite gender, that's where the problem arises. And the truth of the matter is, no matter how much we think that 'times have changed', 'we're more open-minded in relationships', 'we don't get jealous of each other', almost everyone will get jealous in a situation like this. Times may have changed, but people and emotions don't change. Frequent contact with friends of the opposite sex is almost unilaterally a powder keg waiting to go off.
And if you may think that your boyfriend/ girlfriend is over-reacting, ask yourself this. How important is it that I maintain contact with this friend of the opposite sex? Is it worth hurting the person that I am in a relationship with? Why is it so important that you take their calls or text them if it bothers your girlfriend /boyfriend? How committed are you to a relationship if texting your friend takes precedence over being with your boyfriend? girlfriend? Would you want your girlfriend/ boyfriend texting friends of the opposite sex? And if your friend knows that you are in a committed relationship and yet continues to pursue texting and contacting you, how can you be certain that he or she is not interested in you and trying to break up your relationship?
I can't answer these questions for you. And there are no 'right' and 'wrong' answers. If you find that the relationship you are in is too committed for you at this point, maybe it's best to move on. If you find that the friend means more to you than you thought, don't hide your feelings. The important thing is to be honest with yourself, first of all and your partner second. You don't have to be defensive. If your feelings have changed or the relationship is not what you are looking for, accept that in yourself. But be honest.
This article also presumes that the texting is not done by both parties. If both parties text or call friends of the opposite sex and one partner gets jealous, that's a different issue. Relationship rules must be fair for both parties. A relationship based upon two sets of rules, one for him and one for her, is a dysfunctional relationship.
For information on relationships visit me at www.onintimacy.blogspot.com and www.emotionalhealthhelp.blogspot.com.
Published by Marilisa Kinney Sachteleben
Happy wife. Mom of 4. 10+ year homeschool vet. Certified K-8/special ed. Yahoo! News Beat Writer: Parenting, Michigan, Detroit. Published on Helium, SEED, AT&T, Diabetes Active, Mapquest, Best Contractors, H... View profile
How to Un-Attract the Opposite Sex Personal Hygiene is defined as healthy habits that include bathing, wearing clean clothing and, most importantly, washing hands frequently before handling edibles to insure the...- Meeting the Boyfriend/Girlfriend - for Parents of TeenagersAs if dealing with all of the other various trials and tribulations of adolescence aren't enough for parents, the day comes when your son or daughter wants you to meet the love of their life - the latest girlfriend or...
- Kid Time: Stop TextingParents need to pay more attention to their children. Texting is taking away valuable time from the children.
The Damaging Results of Texting (Text Messaging) on TeensMy observations on texting and the negative effects it has had on my classmates and peers in high school.- Preteens and TextingHere is how I handled some issues with my preteen and all of the texting.
- How to Have a Best Friend of the Opposite Sex
- Emotional Affairs: When Friendship With the Opposite Sex Borders on Cheating
- Ten Indispensable Tips for Sharing a Bathroom with a Roommate of the Opposite Sex
- How to Live with a Friend of the Opposite Sex
- Why Friends of the Opposite Sex are a Bad Idea
- Coed Dorm Rooms, New College Trend to Live with Member of Opposite Sex
- How to Keep the Peace Between Opposite Sex Friends and Significant Others
10 Comments
Post a CommentIm glad this was brought up! its important for you to know that im not against being open,understanding, and trusting to your partner. Furthermore, id like to highlight the importance of being aware of persisting cirumstances such as these. Txting your best guy friend when your bored and your partner is not around is perfectly understandable. Emergencies aside, txting your best guy/ friend when your around your partner shows lack of respect , interest, and is a definite " reg flag." Red Flags symbolize a wrong way of passage. Allow "red flags" to propel your soul into the right direction. If missunderstandings persist,part ways, and you will be rewarded! Bon Voyage !
Sooooo Dam Sweet ..thanks for texting so much cause now your Lover is letting me toss those Cookies... I love it.. PLEASE DONT STOP TEXTING>.. That is one nice peace of ass... CIAO TEXT MASTER MEDIA FREAK... SO WHEN YOU GUYS KISS DO YOU TASTE SOMETHING FUNNY >>>YOU MIGHT JUST BE TASTING MEeeee... Ah yes a nice release it was ..No please keep texting...
really like this guy but he has a gf that he really likes we dated once but i really want him back :(
well in my relationship i let my gf text who she wants i just told her to all ways tell me who text her dont hide anything from me and she always tells me who she is talking to and what about... i always do the same for her and we trust each other not to lie about anything. we keep everything honest and open
I was gonna add: It's not just the opposite sex friends that can screw up a relationship. It all just boils down to what someone treats as a priority. I like that you stressed being honest with one's self.
"if your friend knows that you are in a committed relationship and yet continues to pursue texting and contacting you, how can you be certain that he or she is not interested in you and trying to break up your relationship?" Yup. That's a sticky widget alright.
well, I had this problem when i was married "pre texting" era. I had a friend of the opposite se that I knew since I was 12. It bothered him so much, and being young and isealistic decided he was wrong for feeling that way. Then I put myself in his shoes-how would I fee, would it make me feel thretened that although platonic, this woman would be very close to him and prob know him better than me? I then stopped talking to my friend on a real regular basis. remained friends, but minimal, and my friend understood too.
I'm not so sure, I think it's like everything else - tread carefully. Cheers.
I know of several instances where this has caused problems in relationships. People need to TALK more to people instead of texting! Serious subject
I think the comfort level of texting depends on how well the bf or gf knows their bf and gf's friends and how long they have been friends and how well they know their bf and gf. So many variables. Interesting questions though