Relationship: Keeping the Spark Alive After the Baby

I heard it from everyone--be sure to keep your spouse as a priority after the baby comes. I'll admit that it's come easy for us, and that may be that we kept our relationship strong even during pregnancy. I have plenty of friends that could care less about their husbands while they are riding the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy, and that just adds to the difficulty once the baby is here. You will experience a million emotions at the arrival of your baby, and at times it can be overwhelming and the tiniest thing that your partner does can really set you off. The key is to stay calm and put each other first--this is no small feat at times.

We're lucky as we were best friends first and that has created the basis of our relationship. We know how to laugh and have fun together, and I think that's what has helped us through tough times. We're certainly not perfect and we have our disagreements, but above all we try to conquer all with a smile and as a team. Even when things got tough with a newborn crying in the middle of the night and we were overcome with sheer exhaustion, we tried hard to stay calm and remember how lucky we were to have this tiny little angel as our own. I think the key is just that--remember why you got married (or moved in together) in the first place. Even when you're really mad or upset (and that's when it's the hardest), look at your mate and think of why you chose them.

Putting each other first is key too. We've tried to make "date night" a priority with us, and that's not always easy with crazy schedules and an adorable daughter that we want to spend time with. We're lucky that we have family ready and willing to watch the little darling so that we can plan a night out for just the two of us. If family won't work, then look into a local babysitter or trade babysitting services with another family that has a similar situation as yours. This is a hot trend right now, and I am convinced that it's helping couples everywhere to stay happy. If you don't have husband and wife time here and there, then you're likely to get sucked into the mommy and daddy roles solely. If all else fails, try to make a point of watching a movie or your favorite tv show together every week to have some sense of normalcy and fun as a couple.

Do nice things for each other from time to time. Does he like football? Then either let him have a day of watching it, or go to a game with him. Does she love wine tasting? If that's her thing, then schedule a day at a local winery or just go out for a glass of wine together. As you know when you got married, it's all about compromise--once that baby is here it's remembering and practicing those compromises that is important. Making the other feel special and important is a key to being a happy couple.

You can easily get sucked into the trap of talking only about your little one--it's easy to do. You're so in awe of all that they do as they get bigger and if you're a work from home mom like me, there are days where that's your only interaction. Talking about your day is fine and of course your child is a big part of that, but remember to focus on other things and talk about current events or things separate from your child. As a side note, this is especially important with friends. (whether they have kids or not) I hate to be harsh, but nobody cares about every little accomplishment that your little one has made except for the two of you and maybe grandma.

Above all, remember that you are a team. There are times that you may look at each other and feel nothing but frustration, but you're in this together. If you can remember that and the reasons why you picked your spouse, then you are well on your way to being not only successful parents but a successful couple too.