Relationship Question: "What Are You Thinking About?"

If you are a woman, odds are you have asked this question hundreds of times. You probably asked your first boyfriend this question and every man in your life since. If you are a man, odds are you have been asked this question hundreds of times. You probably despise this question, and dread every time a woman asks you.

Why Women Love Asking the Question

Women want to be intimate with their partner on every level. When we stare into the eyes of our significant other, we want to know everything about them. We want to know their thoughts, hopes, dreams, and fantasies (at least we think we want to). We want to feel like we are with our soul mate. If our man is silent, we wonder what he could be thinking about. But, rather than continue to wonder, we ask those five words, "What are you thinking about?" When we ask this question, we are hoping that the answer will be something positive about ourselves. We envision our man saying, "I was thinking about how lucky I was to have you in my life" or something about how beautiful we are. But, when we ask this question, we are often left disappointed. Usually, the reply we receive is, "Nothing." If we are lucky enough to get a real answer, we are usually disappointed when it has nothing to do with us and is something that we couldn't care less about.

Why Men Hate Answering the Question

Men hate this question because they have no idea what the "correct" answer is. Often they forget what they were thinking about, because they were interrupted by their significant other asking them what they were thinking about. If they do remember what it was, they either: A: Know that it is not something their woman wants to hear. (They are smart enough to know that they should not answer that they were wondering what Pamela Anderson's breasts would feel like.) or B: They were thinking about something they didn't want to talk about. (If they are thinking about work and didn't share these thoughts, it's because they did not want to discuss work). When asked this question, men are caught in a dilemma over whether to lie or whether to tell the truth.

In conclusion:

My advice to women: Quit asking this question. You will only be left disappointed.

My advice to men: Humor us and tell us about how wonderful we are.