Relationship Sizzle - Harmony Notes

The difference between not fighting and arguing all the time, and a life of peace and bliss, is huge, to measure your relationship takes guts, do you have guts? If you said, "yes I have guts," great this article will sharpen your skills, if you said, "not me I'm a total wimp when it comes to relationships," this article will move you toward being able to do what you never believed you could.

First question to ask yourself is, "do I think I am going to live forever?" The answer is always the same; nobody believes they aren't going to, it's something inside out minds, and we can say that we realize that Jim Morrison, (long dead but famous singer for the band "The Doors") is right and that "nobody gets out of here alive." While we are saying that, though, we are thinking, "huh-uh, I'm gonna live forever," and we might not even be in touch with that dialogue, but it is self preservation internally to us.

Second question to ask yourself is, "what about me is appealing." This is the tough one, appealing is a tough issue. In nature if something is appealing its consumed or paid attention to, a clear example of this is the Hummingbird, it feeds constantly, pays attention to what is red or yellow with red, and goes to it; it is appealing to the Hummingbird who pays attention to it. The color is appealing, the sugar water is necessary. Let's make that one sink in...The color (what you act like) is appealing. The sugar water (tender hugs and kisses and ...other things) is necessary. See the difference?
Appeal and necessary are two different degrees of involvement and care.

Third question to ask yourself is, "what about me makes this relationship good."
Good is the enemy of best (somewhat Voltaire quote) except when you must take steps to improve a position. In a relationship that is falling apart, betting to good is a step toward best, and that makes a huge difference. If you can move the relationship from arguing by giving each other the proper cues not to, then you can move to talking and becoming friendlier, which is a step toward good. As you move toward good, you will see your attitude toward your significant other or mate changing. This is important to note.

So at this point, we have a two-note piece of music, an A for effort, moving off the F for failure, and now we are moving toward the G for good. Once we arrive there, the next steps will move in a subtle fashion toward best. By allowing the fire of the fighter in you to vent with time and distance, you have prevented to blow out- the event that makes for divorce, and you have backed away from leaving. This is good, it allows time to reconsider the better aspects of what you became involved in, there was something about this person you are with that you found worthwhile, now as we move toward good - we should begin to see that there is something there worth noting.

Please be certain that in cases of abuse, we don't recommend these types of steps, these are for situational or behavioral difficulties only, and in cases of physical or mental abuse, we recommend seeking third party assistance, legal assistance, and parties that can do interventions. These writings are for couples who have serious fights, these methods will work to stop those, and bring balance back to a relationship.