Relationship Woes and What to Do About Them

So many problems poison our relationships these days. Things like being unfaithful, abusiveness and addictions. Though this is an extremely sexual society, petty differences can form a dark cloud over love. For example, don't you get tired on dirty socks on the floor? Your partners loud chewing? It'll creep up on you. You start to feel unloved, unheard, and unappreciated. It'll make you feel criticized and controlled. Intimacy seems to be a thing of the past.

It will be very hard to not find irritations in relationships. The key is to compromise and deal with it in a way that doesn't alienate each other. Marriages tend to end over petty differences in style, says New Your psychiatrist John Jacobs. Diane Sollee, family therapist and founder of Smart Marriages says, all of us have differing ways and values and want different things from each other. We sometimes judge our partners by our parents. He may feel that it's OK to not put the toilet seat down, since his father didn't . We must remember that our annoyances in our relationships are a two-way street. Don't just focus on what you are getting, but also on what you are giving.

If your partner's habit drives you crazy, bring it up in a loving way. Your partner probably is not even aware of it. People tend to behave in ways that are self-focused without taking in account how the other person feels. A study done by Michael Cunningham examined relationships of 160 couples and found that they suppressed irritating behaviors early on in their dating. They allowed these behaviors to surface after they became committed to the relationship.

In most relationships one partner is definitely messier them the other. Usually when a man lives with a woman, he expects her to pick up after him. They just don't believe in picking up after themselves. If he just doesn't seem to be able to change his ways, you should re frame the issue. Don't focus on how lazy you think he is, instead think of how he contributes to other chores. When your partner starts attacking you be yelling and making you feel unloved, try a pattern interrupt. Don't yell back at them, but respond by saying that you love them. No matter how much they yell and throw a tantrum, you will be there. They'll need that assurance and understanding.

We all want to be appreciated. It is up to us to communicate what it will take for us to feel appreciated. Don't make assumptions that your partner already knows. Gain control over the problem by telling yourself (in front of your partner) thank you, you did a good job. Maybe then, they will join in with the compliments. To keep a relationship alive attribute good intentions to your partner. If you feel that your partner is controlling, ask yourself what is motivating them. If your partner had problems with you going out with friends, may have insecure feelings of abandonment. Express your love. Give certainty that you'll be there and not leave them.

Your significant other may flirt with other people. Look beyond the hurt you feel and ask yourself what your needs. Could it be quality time, or being prioritized. Be careful of personality conflict. Both partners are complaining about each others faults. You may be a social person while your partner seems to be a hermit. Accept the fact that you both are different and its OK.

source: Dixit, Jay. "You're Driving Me Crazy!." PsychologyToday . 1 March 2009: 66.