RELATIONSHIPS 101 Therapist Handout #1

1. Take care of yourself and your own "stuff" (physical and emotional), unless you have negotiated to do specific tasks for each other.

2. Respect each other. Treat each other how you would like to be treated: with kindness, warmth, and care.

3. It is helpful not to assume: a. your partner knows what you are thinking
and feeling,
b. your partner thinks or feels the same way you do about something and
c. you and your business are more important to your partner than his/her own business.

4. Tell your partner right away, appropriately, (i.e. without attitude) when you feel sad, angry, disappointed, hurt, irritated, or annoyed about something your partner did or said. Be sure to make eye contact.
Example "I am hurt because you said I was a slob when I didn't pick up my socks."

5. If you think you made a mistake, tell your partner as soon as possible and be specific. Let him know you will make an effort not to do it again.
Example "I made a mistake. I'm sorry I was an hour late and didn't call you. In the future, I will call if I'm going to be more than 15 minutes late."

6. If you feel angry or out of sorts about something, even if it's unrelated to the relationship, it is wise to tell your partner about it.
Example "I'm feeling tense about something my boss said today."

7. Plan to spend time together at least once a week, no kids allowed. The purpose is to have fun together and foster growth of your relationship.
Examples "Go out to dinner and to a movie
Do the yard work together
Learn how to do something new together, like golfing, boating, ballroom dancing, etc.

8. Encourage your partner to take part in activities s/he enjoys.
Example "You ought to take that yoga class you've wanted to take."

9. Ask your partner for help when you really need it. Use "please" and "thank you." Be sure you mention afterward how much you appreciated it.

10. Share positive feelings with your partner everyday. There are many ways to do this.
Examples "The color of your blouse brings out your beautiful blue eyes."
"You are so funny."
"Thanks for helping me carry in the groceries."

Source

Professional experience.