Relationships: 5 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

One of the biggest mistakes a couple makes is how they choose to have an argument. Many times unfair tactics are used that end up hurting the individuals involved as well as the stability and happiness of the couple. Let's take a look at five fair fighting rules that will help any couple to argue more fairly, and most definitely give the couple a much better chance of staying together.

Never, Never Get Physical-

This is a pretty obvious one. A couple should never use, pushing, grabbing, slapping, punching, hair pulling, or even holding someone against their will from leaving. There should be NO physical contact during an argument, unless it is for support, or to show caring, such as holding hands. Physical violence never solved any problem or argument, It only creates more problems. If an argument starts to get physical in ANYWAY, one of the partners should leave. Of course if one is not willing to stop the violence, that's when you call 911.

NO Verbal or Emotional Abuse-

DO NOT ever degrade, demean, insult, manipulate, laugh at, or try to control your partner during an argument. Trying to hurt your partner emotionally never solves a problem, and can have a very long-term negative affect on your partner as well as your relationship. Remember your trying to solve a problem or an argument, not seriously hurt your partner. Unfortunately many people who run out of defenses with their argument end up getting really nasty. Try to remember you love this person, and the argument is secondary to their feelings, and emotional well being.

NO Screaming-

This one actually makes me laugh. When two people are screaming NO one hears what the other is saying. The only goal is to out yell the other one. Somewhere along the way, whatever the argument was about gets lost, and it becomes a scream-fest. NO one listens to a screamer. NO one listens to someone who is out of control. NO one makes sense when they are screaming. It's almost as If some people believe if they scream something loud enough it will finally get through. Well, my rule of thumb is, you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. If you can't stay reasonably calm, don't discuss it at that moment.

Cool Off and STOP When Either Partner Needs To-

As I said with the NO screaming rule, if one of you needs to cool down before continuing an argument, go to designated separate rooms to cool off. However, before doing so set a specific time when you can continue to talk. This will keep one or both partners from feeling like the subject will never be discussed again. Sometimes when someone feels like it will never be discussed, they panic, and that's when one tries to keep the other from leaving. This is when things can get physical, one wanting to go and one desperately trying to keep the other from leaving. An argument is always best solved when both individuals are calm, cool, and collected.

Stick To The Subject-

This is one of the worst. Most couples DO NOT stick to the subject. Soon as one feels like their losing everything in creation is brought up. Ten minutes later both have completely forgotten what they were arguing about. This is also when the verbal and emotional abuse can be brought into play. Sticking to the subject is of utmost importance to staying focused, on-track, and solving whatever problem you have.

There you have it, five fighting rules that could save your relationship. Try and ALWAYS remember, winning an argument may make you happy for the moment, but if you truly want to be happy for a lifetime, make your loved one the priority in your life. As the old saying goes, Make Love Not War! I don't know who came up with that, but I bet they had a long and happy life!