Relationships

To start writing about relationships and the drama it can bring, can be a topic that never ends. Ladies, I have been there and done that. I have come to realize that I draw men that were no good for me because of my way of thinking. Negativity breed negativity.

Just to be able to say, "I got man and I am in relationship," a woman will endure anything and I do mean anything. Some women have died to be able to say those words.

I was watching Divorce Court and there was a woman who after having caught her fiancee' with another woman, her fiancee' tried to run her over with his car, he had a baby with another woman, she found out that she was not the only woman he was seeing, yet she still married this man. "But I loved him," was her reason, girl there ain't that much love in the world, and yes I used the word "ain't."

Women who allow a man to move in with them with no job: no prospects of getting a job, no car, and sometimes they only have the clothes on their backs and a couple of more in a garbage bag. Women will allow a "Papa rolling stone," in their life "wherever he lays his hat is his home." Just to be able to say the words, "I got a man..."

We women see signs that there is something problematic about a man even before the relationship takes a serious step, but women with this "savior," "mother" complex think we can help and change him. The person that we need to be changing is ourselves because if we were in our right mind, we would not be with this man to begin with.

If we are with a man and even if we have a child with this man, and he has shown that, he is no good for us, why is it that if he asks us to marry him, why do we say "yes?"

Why is it that we think marriage is going to change a man or the situation? Marriage does not change the situation, it just adds to the drama. Like the saying goes, "Marriage is easy to get into, but hard to get out of." You are going to end up being a parent to more than just your child( if children are involved), that is a promise.

Even if we do not end up married to the man, sometimes we still linger in a relationship that is headed to a dead end.....these things are not good, not for us our(if children involved) our children.

Something that is happening more and more is women moving a man in their home with her kids, not knowing anything about him and he turns out to be a pedophile. Relationships do not only affect us only ladies, but as I mentioned prior it affects our children. We sometimes put our needs and wants ahead of our children's neeeds. Sometimes we tend to be a little selfsish. I do not mean to offend anyone but the truth hurts doesn't it? We hear about peodphiles on a daily basis.

Some women seem to think dressing like a prostitute is something endearing to a man....wrong. I was watching Tyra Banks, the new Oprah for Generation What's Next, and the topic for that day was Promiscuity. Last year Nelly Furtado stayed #1 on the Music Billboard Charts with the song that talks about being promiscuous. Title needs no explanation.

Young adults may be thinking that they are just listening to the beat but those lyrics are being instilled into their psyche. The music itself can put you in moods that will get you in trouble. The words are so provocative; they encourage young men and women that it is okay to have someone you met the same night at a dance club or party. If someone, who suppose to be an adult can go too far and should know better, imagine what it is like for young people who do not know any better.

The air we are breathing today is vile and influenced by people who do not care about people, the dollar bill is their ultimate goal. Since sex sells, the songs promote sex. The definition of being promiscuous is having many indiscriminate or casual sexual relationships, choosing carelessly or without discrimination casual and unrestrained in sexual behavior, easy virtue, loose or light women or men.

When women sleep with a man on the first date, do they really think this is a man that this is a man that is going to respect them in the morning, or is someone who wants to settle down with them, take them home to meet their mother?

According to the young men interviewed on Tyra, men do not respect women like this. Their remarks were, "You can't change a woman who sleeps around into a housewife." They considered women like this untrustworthy and trashy. One malled called them "buses," saying, "if you miss one bus, another one is coming." When a woman is too easy, they said they were not not considered a "challenge," no one wants something that is too easy. You don't appreciate something that you did not have to work to get. In addition, other unflattering names were used to describe easy women.

There was also something else they thought was undignified, a woman with a tattoo in the middle of her back, right about their backside. They were called a derogatory name because the tattoo was placed, on that particular part of their bodies for the men to look at. What we may think seems cool will have other people put labels on us.

The point that these guys were trying to get across was men do not respect women who dress or act a certain way.

To be fair the episode did bring out that some women who were promiscuous had a very traumatic sexual misdeed done to them as a young woman.

Ladies we need to learn to love ourselves, respect ourselves and if that man does not treat us the way we deserve to be treated, we need to walk away before you decide the important step as marriage. We should have standards for the men in our lives and ourselves.

Women are dying now sleeping with the enemy, just to be able to say, "I got a man." It is not worth it, I would rather be alone than miserable or worse yet dead.

This advice does not just apply to women, if you have young daughters pay attention and talk to them, girls are becoming sexually active with multiple partners as young as eleven today. Sad but it's true.

I am sure that you have heard the saying from your mother or grandmother, "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" I used to think my grandmother was so old fashion and that she did not want me to have any fun, when she would say this to me. I did not realize that she was only giving me instructions that were from our creator. She was only trying to protect me.

In addition, ladies, if you ever do fall in love with the man of your dreams, never give another human being your all, the only one who deserves your everything is the True God. A man loves and respects a woman who loves and respects herself.

When you are considering marrying a man watch how he treats his mother, because if he is not good to his mom, what makes you think he is going to be good to you? Watch how he spends his time, who he spends his time with. If you catch him in one lie, another one will soon follow. Make sure you both have the same spiritual and financial goals, make sure that he has any goals.

Just start looking before you leap, not glance and leap, look hard.