Relationships - Can't Live with or Without Them?

As an astrologer, there isn't a day I don't get readings that enquire about significant others, and in fact, the number one questions are : Will he come back? Is he cheating on me? Is his marriage going to break up? Many times I can review the current planetary configurations in anyone's chart and almost always say the question before they do. It's right there in the horoscope telling me what time it is in your relationship, career, home life, etc.

Are you cheating? Thinking about it? Already did it, and trying to forget about it? Do you think you can leave your marriage for that fling you've held so secretly under your wing for the past 5 years? Do you think your wife doesn't have a clue that you're involved with someone else? Do you think that running from one relationship into the next is going to solve the problem? Do you think asking an astrologer, psychic, or even your shrink for a quick and easy answer is going to solve "your" problem? There are no justifications for cheating, other than life itself -- commitments are after all, based upon ideals, and the ideal does not exist in daily life. It only exists in our dreams, and visions for the future, it only exists in the realm of Archetypes --- as Plato would say.

When we choose partners we base them upon what we think is the perfect lover, thereby projecting our image on them, whether they're like that or not. So, cheating is almost always a natural course that exists in our primitive minds. We can't help but cheat a little. While some might cheat innocently through flirting, others risk crossing boundaries. So are we immune to the cheating bug? Think again.

Society's Norms Dictate

The social pressures that dictate the 'norm' in relationships are not making it easier for partnerships in the conventional sense. If the 'norms' of society change and started to enforce penalties for adultery (other than in the eyes of God) then societies behavior would be more or less repressed, it wouldn't change the urge to cheat, it would only change the places and techniques of which it's done.

The barrage commercialization of sex in nearly everything we experience has subliminally seduced even the most prudent in today's society. There's literally no where you can go to escape what you must be doing in your relationships without enforcing sexual pleasure as a prerequisite to stability. Watch any commercial and you'll find sexual content. The word 'sex' itself has a powerful influence over the psyche' subconsciously, and in fact, the more you say it, the more you'll think about it. The more you see it on a billboard, the more you hear it in a lyric, or watch it in motion, the more powerful of an effect it has on you. We are a society seduced by sex -- and unfortunately, many times tied to drugs, and violence.

When we speak of sex, we're speaking of thousands of images at one time -- some healthy and some not so healthy. Sex within the boundaries of the norm is good -- Of course, what's norm for one, is not necessarily norm for another. There are many other facets that filter into this as well -- from religous upbringing, to dysfunctional child-hoods, etc. Sex is power, and it has power over your relationships, and while so many fear they will lose the one they love to the arms of another, they spend more time worrying than doing something about it. Often times, it is too late, the relationship has out-lived it's course, but you should consider yourself lucky and be thankful for the lesson. You'll certainly know some of the key signs of what you do and don't want in your love life in the future. Your very birth-chart was a result of sexual union - so it would seem that sex is not going to be leaving the planet and will remain the finest ingredient to 'getting along' ultimately being the root code in our behavior that makes us all tick.

While society continuously hammers us with promiscuity, it has in effect become it's own religion. The traditions of the Golden and Silver Anniversaries have vanished -- what once set the moral standard of relationship longevity has now become myth. Statistics don't lie -- 4 out of 5 marriages end in divorce, and the only reason the fifth one didn't could be a host of other reasons, from death of a spouse --- to open marriage, and --- yes --- the occasional perfect love.

Zodiac Sign Compatibility

One of the greatest myths that exists in horoscope comparisons is the fast food evaluations between two Sun Signs. In the very beginning you'll find that you're easily attracted to your own Sun Sign in others, there is a certain comrade you see in that other that gives you a bit of glue. The only problem is, you can only love yourself for so long, and need to have some kind of energy exchange to keep things alive. That's why even two charts of two people full of the most stressful aspects might prove more exciting than one that has too much harmony. If there weren't any roller coasters at the amusement park, and everything was a kiddy-ride, there'd be no customers. People need stimulation, and excitement, and some people thrive on relationships that pose the most heaviest of challenges, because they need to grow is some way shape or form. We all need some friction in our relationships in order to feel their life. First, in astrology, we're mostly concerned with planets, not just signs. It's the planets that tell us the energies we're dealing with -- the signs merely express attitudes and styles, but unless a planet is affecting either partie's chart by transit (the current planets affecting birth planets) we are not so over-whelmed at this idea of signs.

Many people will attract their Rising sign in a partner, or their Sun will sit in their descendant which rules the house of partnerships. Another combinations is their Moons are either relative to their Sun Sign, or their Venus, and Mars combinations are compatible. You can not judge then that any two Sun Signs are incompatible or compatible. I've also seen cases where people were attracted by the Progressed planets and had less in common in their birth charts -- and then after the Progression leaves and is stimulated by a current planet alignment, the relationship just ends. You can assume they'll either have something or nothing in common (goal wise) but basing their entire relationship on just their Sun Signs would be like placing a bet on a long-shot. Your Fire and Air signs of the zodiac are comfortable, extroverted, networking, creative and talkative while your Earth and Water signs are productive, caring, nurturing, and empathetic. Then we are concerned with attributes like cardinal, fixed, and mutable signs. All these things go into consideration as well as planetary rulers, etc. So, there are no quick and easy answers to compatibility other than one to one consultations and both charts. The charts will reflect significant factors however in not only how both individuals view their relationships on all levels, as well as how they view each other -- and then finally, we look at what each of them are going through on a personal level in the current dates. You have to have both charts, their accurate birth data (e.g., date, time, location) in order to do comparisons for compatibility --- there is no substitute.

Questions of the Cheat

In most readings I've given -- if not all of them -- I'm continuously confronted with the same questions -- Here are just a few:

--- He's acting kind of distant -- we use to be really close but -- I don't know...he's being weird -- Is he having an affair?

--- My husband is extremely jealous -- Is our relationship going to last? Also, I want to know if Joe (my lover) is going to leave his wife so we can be together?

--- My wife hasn't got a clue -- but I've been having this wild infatuation over a girl I work with and I'm wondering weather she's really the one? We've come close to crossing the line, but we're really afraid that it will cause problems in our careers.

The 3 examples above are focused primarily on women who are infidel does not mean men are not -- It simply means there seems to be more of a conscience operating and they are more interested in the analysis of the situation. Men may do it as much, simply because they are involved with the women above doing the cheating -- however, they may more likely go to another man for their problems while women gravitate to women to discuss these issues. I've also found that men will be more concerned regarding their career and toss in a few questions about the relationship issues afterwards, as sort of a buffer, and more times than enough are in denial about what they're really saying. In other words, they're not just fantasizing about a co-worker, they've already made a move either physically or in their heads, but are in denial and fear of loss of the monetary security they've built in a bad marriage. They're more hesitant for financial reasons. Many times they'll stay in the affair and marriage, and in most cases they're not going to change for the wondering lover who waits.

Astonishingly, there are more people 'fooling around' then you can imagine, and there's really only one answer for all of this, other than biological functions, basic needs, and repression. Getting a reading can help with these issues, but it won't cure your desires, nor will it solve the problem. The answer almost always is within you to change and control.

So -- Is he coming back, is he the one? A good compatibility reading can help with this, and at least prevent you from making a serious mistake. It will tell you whether you can live together, and how compatible you are sexually, where the strengths and weaknesses lie in the relationship, which at least will give you a running start. As for those already involved in extra-marital threesomes, some good rules are: If you're waiting by the phone more times than living your life -- or --- If you're getting answers that don't make sense when you ask the hard and serious questions -- it's going nowhere. The bottom line? You'll be old an gray before he makes up his mind. If your looking for monogamy -- and it starts with an affair -- chances are, monogamy is not there. Move on. You don't need a psychic to tell you this -- you only need to take off the rose colored glasses. You set up how others treat you - from the bottom line of respect -- to the outward manifestation of the results.