Relationships: Did He Change or Just Stop Pretending?

I have heard more times than I can count, women telling me that their perfect man suddenly changed overnight. Well, that may be how it seems, but I can guarantee you, people don't change their personalities and behavior overnight. Let's take a look at why it seems like the perfect man can so shockingly change, so quickly.

It takes a long time for people to mold their personality, and for the behaviors they exhibit to be molded. By the time someone is 21 years old millions of variables have gone into who they have become. Their environment, how they are raised, and what happens to them along the way. So, by the time a person gets to be a full-fledged adult, they are pretty much the person that they will always be. Now, I'm not saying people don't grow over a lifetime, What I am saying is their personalities, beliefs, and how they behave will be pretty consistent over their lifespan. Sometimes-tragic things, as some wonderful things that can happen along the way to influence some change. However, their inner core, or who they really are will remain pretty solid. With that in mind, let's look at why some men seem to change overnight, and why so many women are so surprised when they do,

Let's start out with the fact that they aren't really changed. What happened was you perceived him in a certain way based on his behaviors. We all assume that the person they are showing us is who they truly are. What we forget is, they may or not be who they are pretending to e. Most people want to impress someone they just met. They either put their best foot forward, or become what the other person wants and expects. The problem with this is, it's not long term sustainable. In other words that person will get really tired of walking on egg shells and eventually relax. It's when they become relaxed that the so-called changing seems to appear.

What you have to understand is this person isn't really changing, they are just revealing the real person they have always been. This real person, was hidden, as not repel that which the person wanted to obtain. In other words, he was pretending to be everything you have always wanted until he got you, and then bam, he felt comfortable and safe enough to reveal who he really is. Men aren't stupid; they know that once a woman falls in love it is hard for her to walk away, so therefore they then feel it's safe to come out, so to speak. How horrible, a woman thinking she's getting the man she has always wanted and dreamed about, to only wake up one day and find herself trapped in a nightmare with the man from hell!

So, how can a woman avoid going through this? You MUST wait, a long enough period of time, to see when he feels safe and relaxed, who he really is. Don't even attempt to try and fall in love before a minimum of six months. Wait longer, if you don't get to see him on a daily basis. You MUST see him in many different situations, over and over again to see if he reacts the same, and is consistent in his behavior.

Most people understand that in the very beginning everyone is trying their best to impress the person they like. However, this is not what that's about, This is about certain men who sweep women off their feet with their Prince Charming act, and then when they have them turn into the Devil incarnate. This happens way more often than people would ever like to believe, for both men and women. Anyone can be a victim. It's not about being stupid; it's about being vulnerable and opened to falling in love. There is a risk with any chances we take. However, how about lowering those risks by taking your time with a new love, and keeping your eyes and ears wide open, so you won't end up with the guy that seemingly changed overnight!