Relationships & Jealousy: The Green Eyed Monster

What a perfect article for St. Patrick's Day. You know the green and all! First off green-eyed people take no offense. I am green eyed as well and I guess I can tend to be jealous at times. However, I have worked on this and I don't think it will be a future problem. Quite frankly, mine was just the healthy kind of jealousy. I have finally accepted what my lovely Mom told me many years ago. "If she can take him away from me, she can have him". I finally understand what she meant. You can't lose what you really don't have, and if you do have them, why worry about losing them. Makes sense to me. So when is a little jealousy healthy, and a lot too much. Let's take a look at two different scenarios, one on healthy jealousy, and one on unhealthy jealousy.

Healthy Jealousy-

Yes, let's do the good one first. A healthy jealousy consists of just a slight simmering in your sole. Your heart races a little and perhaps an annoyed look could be recognized by others. You probably won't say anything out loud, as you kind of know you're being silly. You lip may curl up, and you may throw a little sneer in the direction of "That Woman". You know the one that's talking to "Your Man", and has her hand on "His Arm" while she barks, I mean talks to him. Boy, if that isn't revealing. You may turn slightly cool when your man comes over to finally talk to you, after he has ripped himself away from that "Viper", I mean accomplished young woman (yeah right). You may be fantasizing about the sex he WON'T get when you return home that evening. Of course it has nothing to do with him being "NICE" to that........accomplished young woman. You probably will never tell him why you were really annoyed that night; he is just going to have to chalk it up to PMS. Okay, so this is what most people call healthy jealousy. It just makes us human, and doesn't really cause any substantial harm to the relationship. It just kind of shows you really do love him, and you would be quite broken hearted to lose the love of your life. People who say they never feel this way, well, they're either lying, or don't give a damn about the one they supposedly love!

Unhealthy Jealousy-

Same scenario, different person. Your not just simmering in your sole, you're seething in every fragment of your being. Your face is blood read, and so may be your hands when you get through with her. You go over and start calling that accomplished young woman, a whore, a witch, a F....husband steeling slug that lives under a rock. When she tries to respond, your hands start moving rapidly toward her face and hair. No this isn't the good kind of makeover. After your husband pulls you off her body, and he pulls her hair out of your hands, you start swinging at him. You start yelling that he's a cheating, no good, ............husband! No secrets in this relationship. You start screaming you want a divorce, and if you ever see him with her again, you will kill them both. Yes, this really does happen. You go home that night, and sex is somewhere in the very distant future, because you are going to make him pay! Okay, this is obviously a very unhealthy form of jealousy. This unfortunately happens more often then it should. Both of these people need some serious counseling. Her, because she has anger issues, and a severe self-esteem problem, as well as she's just plain nuts. He needs help because she should have been a long distant memory by now.

Yes jealousy is one of the fickle emotions; I don't think we could actually live without. I just don't think as of yet we have figured out how to live with it!

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