Relationships & Marriage: 5 Traits You Want to Have in Common

The Excitement of Being Opposites Doesn't Last Long!

Hannah
Believe it or not couples that have the most in common, have the happiest and longest lasting relationships. Opposites attract but make the worst relationships. It's hard enough to try and make relationships work these days, but when you have little in common, it's almost impossible. Let's explore the things you may want to have in common with the love of your life.

Lifestyle- How you live your daily life is a very important thing you will most definitely want in common. For example; if you are workaholic who hurry's around and hardly makes it home, this will not sit well with an easy going person who is a homebody, and wants someone there every night. Make sure you have the same goals about how you want to spend your daily lives.

Sex lives-This is an all-important one. Too many people pretend sex doesn't matter if you truly love someone. Yeah, right! You better have in common how often you like having sex. Yes, compromises can be reached, but if one of you is a sex fiend, and the other would rather wait till the next holiday, you're in trouble. Frequency of sex is one of the biggest complaints of couples. Those that want it more, and those who could care less. It's allot easier to choose someone who is on the same "Frequency" as you.

Money and Finances Other than sex this is another top-notch argument. If you don't agree how, and when to spend your money, the next place your money will be spent is on a divorce. In the meantime, your arguments will be often, and most likely hostile. Make sure if you're a spendthrift you don't choose a shopaholic. This is a very expensive disaster waiting to happen.

How To Raise Kids-You don't want to get to the How To Raise kids stage unless you've made it through the Lifestyle, Sex, and Money stage. I mean, why bother having kids if your going to make them miserable with your arguing about them. Parents need to have a united front with their kids in order for any discipline to work. If you're a hard-core spanker, Please don't choose someone who is a non-spanker, who believes in talking and teaching the kids into understanding why what they did was wrong. This is the biggest disaster of all. You will make each other miserable, and seriously damage your children with the constant arguing over who's right and who's wrong. I can almost guarantee, spankers and non-spankers very rarely change their view on the subject.

Future Goals-This is all the wonderful plans you have for the future, including retirement. Oh boy, you better have this one in common. After all, it's the rest of your life. Can you imaging someone who adores skiing retiring on the beach in Tahiti? For some reason people think about this one the least, yet it effects their life the most. Make sure if you want to live and retire in a small quiet town, you don't end up with Mr. or Mrs. Las Vegas. I cannot stress this enough. I have seen too many people that rush into long-term relationships and marriage, and don't find out till years later, what the other has planned for the future, or golden years. It can be devastating. One or the other may have to consider giving up their lifelong dream, rather than lose someone they love. Why take the chance. Your better off making sure that you both have similar plans and dreams for your future.

Yes, it's been said a thousand times about the excitement of opposites attracting. This may be very well true. But excitement alone does not get you through a long and hard life together. It also doesn't make up for one or the other, having to give up their plans for how they wanted their lives, and dreams to turn out. Just make sure your on the same page, when it comes to how you want to live your dreams, and how you want to spend your lives together!

Published by Hannah

I am a former child & family counselor, and now retired. I am proud to be a U.S Air Force Vietnam Era Veteran. I enjoy writing articles on Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Parenting and much more! I hope you...  View profile

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