Relationships: Men's Sexual Problems

Although the most common problem we hear about is a man's inability to perform sexually because of a physical problem, there are other problems which are of the emotional and psychological that exist also. I won't be talking about the physical causes of sexual dysfunction because I am not a medical doctor. So let's take a look at some of the problems that a man may have sexually that may or may not be apparent to the everyday person.

Extreme Sex-

By this what I am talking about frequency. In the beginning of a relationship a few times a day may not seem out of the ordinary, and I would have to agree. The newest of a sexual relationship makes for a very interesting, as well as frequent excursions into the land of plenty. However, sometimes this continues over a long period of time, and doesn't seem to dissipat at least not on his part. This is when they're may be a problem with true intimacy. Sometimes a man can use sex as the only form of intimacy and closeness he is able to give. I know, you probably heard this about most men. Well, most men are able to have some form of intimacy and closeness, without having sex. The ones' I am talking about are unable. This inability can make for a very demanding and let's say unaffectionate relationship. Most women do want to cuddle and be affectionate with men, without having to have sex. Believe it or not, most men can, and even enjoy it. After all a man doesn't always want to feel like they have to perform continuously night and day. So if your man is still having sex with you several times a day after ten years together, and it seems like that's the ONLY time he is close to you, he most likely has an intimacy problem. Usually, it takes a bit of counseling to help with this one.

Low Self-Esteem or Lack of Confidence-

Although women would like to think that all men can have sex at the drop of a hat, there are some men that can't. Some men may have low self-esteem, or lack the confidence to perform, especially in a new relationship. Now, yes some counseling to bolster one's self-esteem would be helpful, but on this one I would say a supportive, understanding partner is just as good if not better. I myself many years ago came across this problem. Telling your man it's okay, and not to worry, along with some calm and collected patience solved the problem 100%. Why women always think all men are smooth operators I'll never know. The thing here is to remember whether they show it or not, men have the same insecurities as women do.

A Basic Dislike Of Women-

Yes, there are men who really have an underlining dislike, and almost hatred of women. You may or not see this directly come to the surface. On the outside they may be as smooth as silk, and one of the most charming men you have ever met. Underneath this type of man he has a lot of pent up anger, and loathing of women. This type of man may start to show it sexually. They may slowly get rougher, and rougher with their actions during sex, as well as verbally be demeaning. This type of man may like role playing during sex. Unfortunately, it may not be the loving, fun type of fantasies that most couples enjoy. This type of man most definitely needs counseling, and hopefully while your not still in his life. The long road that took him to this type of behavior, can be a long walk back. In other words, he's probably not going to change, and even if he is willing, it will take a very long time. Remember, this man has been developing his feelings about women since he was a small child. No one changes over night, even if they are willing. It's always better to be safe, than sorry. This type of man can be dangerous.

Preoccupation with Temporary Problems-

This one is the least to worry about, and not very complicated to figure out. Just as a woman can sometimes not feel sexual because of kids, a job, worrying about getting older, bills, family problems, and more, so can a man. Sometimes women like to believe their men are infallible, and they can handle anything. Well, unfortunately that's a bit of wishful thinking, as well as a lot naïve. Men suffer from the same emotional problems as we do, and believe it or not, sometimes more. Life and society may have changed a lot over the past fifty years, but one thing that really hasn't changed, is man feeling like it's his job to provide for his family, protect them, and be the rock everyone leans on. We may keep that a secret nowadays, but believe me, most men still feel that way. So what does that all mean? It means they have a lot of pressure on them, in a world that is hard, and unforgiving. What that translates to is he may not be able to perform sexually 24/7, just because you're in the mood. Don't worry, as soon as some of the pressure is taken off, he'll be back to normal. Try and be loving, supportive, and most of all don't put on any extra pressure, he already has enough.

Well, there you have it, some of the more common reasons men may not be able to perform sexually as we would like, or perform in a way that's not healthy for any relationship. For most women thankfully, the only two they have to deal with is when the man they love is temporarily, just not feeling good about himself, or is just under a bit too much pressure. For the women who have to deal with the other two, well it's your call, but my feeling is, life is too short not to be happy and trully loved!