Relationships, Part of Growing Up, Staying Out of It

As our children grow up and get into their own relationships, they sometimes call on us to be "on their side". They may want to model their home and their family after the one that they grew up in. You have a spouse or significant other thinking exactly the same way. So who is right and who it wrong. When your child calls you up, do stick your nose in and offer your opinion or do you let them work it out on their own?

Unless both sides are asking for your opinion, you should keep your nose out of it, they will work it out and learn to compromise with each other. It is easy for our children to call on us for advice, especially if they think that we will side with them. Getting involved in a full blown argument can only damage the relationship between you and you daughter in-law or son in-law.

It is easy for us as parents to want to jump right in there and solve the problem, but are we giving this couple a chance to grow in their own relationship? Are we trying to fix what did wrong in our relationships or lives.

The time will come when they need our help, especially when they have their own children. There will be running noses, fevers and behavior problems that we can step in and give advice on. There will be times to jump in and baby sit so they can have some time away.

Think back when you were in the same shoes, did you like it when your mother in law or father in law stuck their nose in.

So, sometimes the best advice is no advice, remember that a mediator is defined as an outside party with no relationship to either one of the parties, some one who has no vested interest in either side. We would never pull in a relative to solve a lawsuit, it would not be fair to either side.

Mother knows best and father has all the answers does not work in this situation. Be supportive and try to give some guidance but be understanding of the other persons feelings too. You may not know the whole story, your little angel may just be the devil in the situation.

Keeping your cool and giving them the opportunity to work it out on their own will either make them or break them. It teaches them to compromise and to get along, this is vital for them as they mature in adult relationships. So the bottom line is to "Keep Your Nose To Yourself!"