Relationships: Is Rebound Grief Sex a Good Idea?

Although rebound grief sex is popular on most of the major soap operas, that doesn't make it the smartest thing, you can do when you're grieving the loss of a relationship. Let's take a look at why rebound grief sex may not be the best way to handle a loss.

Most adults at one time or another in their life have lost a person due to the break-up of a relationship. Grieving is pretty much an unpleasant situation that most people would like to avoid. Unfortunately, grieving and loss are a part of life. No one can escape it, except maybe for a sociopath, or psychopath, who doesn't feel much of anything anyway. It's what people end up doing to avoid grief that becomes the problem. Sometimes when we have lost, or feel lost, sex can be an invigorating stimulus that says, yes, we are still alive and functioning, and there still is hope for the future. It can also say, the hell with grieving I'm going to pretend the loss never happened.

Okay, so now you're thinking so what's wrong with that? Well, what's wrong with that is sometimes when we are grieving we don't make the best choices. We may make decisions in the grip of grief we would never, ever make when feeling more in control. This means that maybe that one night stand after a few drinks to numb the pain, we may have unprotected sex. Remember we are not thinking as clearly as usual under that dark cloud we call grief. I don't know about you, but the loss of any relationship is not worth contracting Aids, or another sexually transmitted disease, never mind the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy.

The second thing here to consider is choosing a partner you may not even like. But, you know what they say; a warm body is better than none, when you're hurting. This couldn't be further from the truth. However what this does is put you into a situation of being with someone you really don't want to be with, and then there you go again, setting yourself up for another loss of a relationship. Good or bad, a break-up is not fun.

Last but not least, is having this grief sex with someone you should have never had sex with in the first place. When someone is grieving they may make stupid mistakes by having sex with a person who is already married, a friends boyfriend/girlfriend, a step-parent (yes, this does happen), someone who is jail bait, an old flame (bad mistake), your ex husband or wife (I hope they're not re-married), and all sorts of inappropriate people, the list goes on and on. Make some of these mistakes, and you really will know what grief is.

Grief and grieving is a normal, necessary, part of life. In order to get over the grief we must go through it, not go around it and try to avoid it. If you are successful at avoiding it, you will most definitely take it with you into the next relationships. That which is not grieved, grows, and stays alive until you extinguish it by grieving it away!