Relationships: Regain Trust for Your Partner

Relationships are not easy. They require constant attention to detail as if you were nurturing a rose to full bloom. Sometimes, there will be incidents that happen and it creates a rift in that relationship. Trust is lost and it is a thorny aspect to regain. So, how do you do it?

Day after day, the worries of your mind replay the offense and recreate the hurtful feelings in you. As much as you want things to be ok, they are not. You are filled with questions that your partner just cannot answer and you continue to obsess on the wrongdoing. At some point, you will need to stop and reassess the situation.

Trust builds slowly over time. No matter how much your partner seeks to regain your trust, it will only happen over time. What you must recognize is that your partner is actively seeking to regain that trust through his or her actions. Being unaware of this will stall the renewal of trust returning to your relationship. It is important to express your appreciation to your partner for their attempts and to have them understand that everything they are doing helps, but only time will heal.

Taking Responsibility. Trust and confidence will not be regained if the past is continually brought up in arguments. Both partners should take the responsibility in understanding that living in the past will not provide a future. If your partner is making all attempts to regain trust and their dedication to you, it shows in all their words and actions and trust will come easier. Most times, because of the impossibility of a time in rebuilding trust, the wrongdoer will feel that they have paid their dues and unless you are willing to let go of the past and see the present actions of your partner, trust will not bloom.

Do not further damage the trust. Remember that it only took one moment to lose trust in your partner, but that it took a while to grow to begin with. Your partner may make mistakes along the way, or you may misperceive an action to be untrustworthy. You have to recognize this for what it is. A complete dedication by both partners to reinstating trust in the relationship is required. What this means is, simply, you have to be willing to give that trust back to your partner and not allow every mistake to further damage the trust that is rebuilding.

Keeping tabs will not help. You cannot possibly follow your partner around everyday. In addition, if your relationship is online, rather than in the real world, it is even more impossible. Both partners should be aware that it is a natural instinct for there to be questions, as long as neither party lets the questioning get too far. Trust is a risk, plain and simple. To believe that your partner will do wrong again implies that you are not taking that risk. As with forgiveness, it involves letting go.

Knowing when to say when. As much as we want our relationships to work out, when trust is a factor, it becomes that much harder. It is important that both partners agree that they are working towards a better relationship. Try as you might, sometimes it is not possible. If the same things keep occurring, then at some point, you must agree that it is over and begin the process of moving on.