Relationships: Stand by Your Man; 5 Reasons when You Shouldn't

Most women really want to stand by their man no matter what. Well, guess what honey this is no country western song, this is real life. If a man is treating you the way you know you deserve to be treated, go for it; stand by this man all the days of his life. However, there are certain instances when a woman has to wake up and smell the coffee. Here are what I believe are 5 good reasons NOT to stand by your man. In some instances it may not be forever, but sadly in some it may mean the relationship is over for good. Let's explore these important reasons why some women should NOT stand by their man.

Physical Abuse-

Well I'm sure most people understand this one. Well, then why are there still so many women in abusive relationships? The very first time a man becomes physically abusive with you it should be the last time. Remember, no one sees it coming the first time, we are not psychics. After the first time it is up to you, the woman to keep the second time from happening. No, you can't control another human being, but you can control where and who you are with. I know, he will swear it will never happen again, Guess what he's LYING, plain and simple. It will happen again, and chances are it will be worse the next time. If you ever want to be with this man ever again, you have to cut him loose and let him do his counseling. DON"T get back together, until he is well on his way through recovery. Make sure you get the counselor's opinion if he's ready, not his opinion. With physical abuse you NEVER stand by your man. You let him stand on his own until he is well. Then maybe you can have a healthy relationship.

Verbal Abuse-

Although I understand that occasionally men say stupid things they shouldn't have, that's different then someone who is continuously verbally abusive. Verbal abuse is a degrading, and demeaning way of bringing a person down, and stripping them of their self-worth. Don't be fooled it's just as controlling as physical abuse. I have seen some women who were severely verbally abused, and it is not a pretty sight. They feel like nothing, so they can do nothing. They have given up, almost to the point of no return. No one deserves to be treated like a second-class citizen. If you want to hold on to your self-esteem and self-worth, DO NOT stand by your man. Again, cut him loose until he gets the help he needs. Then decide if you still want the relationship. You have a right to feel like a worthy human being. If he truly loves you, he will get the help he needs and work his butt off to get you back. If he doesn't, the only thing you are loosing is a verbal abuser.

Addictions-

Like they say in AA, if you lean on someone who is leaning on a bottle, you will both fall over. Addictions are about selfishness, and dependency. The reason there is Al-anon is that there is a loved on being affected by their drinking. Anyone with an addiction needs a lot of help. It is NOT YOUR JOB to help them, or fix them, they have to help and fix themselves. Living with any kind of addict is like living with a tidal wave coming at you 24/7. No one should ever have to live like that. This addict that you love so much, needs to learn to love themselves, and others. That's something they never learned. DO NOT stand by your man; let him do what he needs to do for himself. He may not see it in the beginning, but the most loving thing you can do for him is let go and let God.

Cheating-

This is definably a controversial one. I'm not sure this one has a cure. Maybe if he got a lot of counseling, maybe, he could turn himself around. However, then you have to be strong enough to live with him while trying to trust him again, while always having those ugly pictures in your head of him with her. My personal belief is, fool me once, and your gone forever. At the least DO NOT stand by your man untill he shows you he is a changed man, and his cheating will truly NEVER happen again. Please remember though, cheating isn't just a mistake he made, there's something in his character that isn't quite kosher, so the chance of it happening again may be pretty good.

Refuses To Work-

Most men that won't work are the type that feels that the world owes them a living. The only thing standing by this man will get you is a quick trip to the poor house, or a trip to the emergency room from you being worked to death. Understand, I'm not talking about the man who is laid off from work, or is in-between jobs because he's looking for something better. I'm talking about the terminal couch potato that has every excuse in the book why he doesn't have a job, why he can't find one, and why he lost his last six jobs the previous month. Meanwhile your bills aren't being paid, and your out doing overtime just to try and make ends meet. In other words you are stuck with a dead beat. Could this man possibly ever change? Well, I haven't seen many that have. Usually they just keep moving from one victim to another after each on tires of him. DO NOT stand by this man. The best thing you could ever do for him his kick him out and HOPE he learns how to stand on his own two feet. If he actually does this, you may have a chance at a relationship with him. If not, you've lost nothing, and he will gladly move on to his next meal ticket.

There you have it, what I believe is five good reasons NOT to stand by your man. Standing by your man sounds so good in a song, but if what he is doing is hurting you either, physically, emotionally, or mentally, you need to stop. Everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect, and anything less than that is not acceptable. Love yourself enough to STAND BY YOU, only then will you make the right decisions about who is worthy of being in your life and staying there!

* I have quite a few articles on Relationships, I hope you take the time to check some of them out!