Relationships: Who's Gonna Love Me?

In a world that tolerate polygamy, infidelity, divorce and pre-nups, one of a sane mind have to ask the question, what is going wrong in personal relationships today? Why is there such conflict and turmoil?

The news is filled with horrific murder-suicide stories of domestic violence and broken marriages. How do two lovers who supposedly love each other end in such tragic circumstances? There are many reasons; however, studies show intimate partner violence is primarily a crime against women. In 2001, women accounted for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence (588,490 total) and men accounted for approximately 15 percent of the victims (103,220 total). Feelings of low self-esteem, inadequacy and self-hatred are some reasons why many people are lured into these abusive situations. In fact, negative consequences of these thoughts include:

• Codependency in relationships
• Fear-based living - scarcity principle
• High Blood Pressure, Cancer, Diabetes, etc.
• Can lead to terminal illness

Just from studying the above list, it's obvious; this is a major issue and should not be taken lightly. If you think you are suffering from low self-esteem and its associated behaviors; seek out a professional therapist, counselor, friend or clergy immediately.

Many of us would like to believe we could never find ourselves in such dire relationships - we'd like to think we're too smart, intelligent, and cool - the list goes on. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in reality, this is most of us. I truly believe our lack of realizing and believing we are enough and worthy just as we are drives us compulsively to accept less than what we deserve. In alignment with the Laws of Attraction, we attract that which we believe we are - another half being that feels the same as we do - not good enough. The natural order of this is disaster.

The solution to these overwhelming toxic feelings is to accept the truth and nothing but the truth about yourself. That truth is that you are worthy. You are good enough. You are fine just the way that you are. Healing and wholeness comes from self love and self acceptance, period. The only way to erase the lies in your mind with the truth of who you are is to be willing to have your mind transformed by the renewing of the Word of God.

Author Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book The Mastery of Love, "If one person doesn't love you, someone else will. Just because someone rejects you doesn't mean you have to reject yourself. You have to focus on the most wonderful relationship you can have: the relationship with yourself. It is not about being selfish; it is about self-love. You need to love yourself. Then when you enter a relationship, you don't go into it because you need to be loved. It becomes a choice."

Meditate on that and remember to love yourself first. That is the pathway to healthy relationships.