Relax and Breastfeed Your Baby - Wherever You Are

One of the most common reasons I hear from mothers for avoiding breastfeeding in public is that they wouldn't know what to do if someone said something negative to them. Moms who have experienced this report that it is an emotional, often humiliating situation and that they simply freeze up and don't know how to respond. If a mother is prepared ahead of time with a response, it helps her put that worry aside and feed her child as necessary no matter where she goes. Here are some ideas about how to be prepared so that you can relax and not worry about how to deal with it on the spot.

Women may be reassured to know that most breastfeeding mothers never experience a negative reaction when out in public. In fact, some moms say that they don't get any reactions at all, while others relate positive comments and smiles directed their way.

In the case of a rude comment from an onlooker, most women agree that it is simplest to take the higher ground and ignore the comment whenever possible. It is unlikely that the commenter will stop and direct the statement right at the woman. It's usually a comment let out on the fly as they go by. No response is necessary.

In the rare event that a woman in a public establishment is approached by staff and asked to cover up or leave, a knowledgeable response can avert further issues. Women should know what their options are in such a situation.

A mother might choose to comply with the request, say no and leave, or say no and stay.

When deciding not to comply with a request to cover or leave, it is a good idea to obtain contact information from the staff, such as whom you spoke to, who their supervisor is and the information for the corporate headquarters if one exists. In fact, requesting such information is an excellent response in itself to a request to cover or leave. It is not necessary to hold a conversation with the person about the situation - you don't need to ask why or get into an argument - you can simply reply by getting out a note pad and pen and saying, "And your name is? Who is your supervisor? May I speak to the manager?" If your nursling makes digging through your bag impossible at the moment, ask instead for the business card of the staff members. Or ask for their pen and jot the information down on a napkin!

There are two important reasons for taking contact information: one, it gives you a calm method of communicating without allowing a dispute to develop, and two, it provides you with options for follow-up action once you have left the establishment. Taking names and contact information is basic procedure to any customer service complaint.

Before deciding what option to go with, it is helpful to know the state law. Most states now have protective legislation in place that clarifies a woman's right to breastfeed in any location she is otherwise authorized to be. Some states add that breastfeeding cannot be considered indecent exposure. In states with legislation, one option a woman may exercise is to carry cards with the law printed on them in the diaper bag. She then can provide the information to anyone violating her protected rights.

Once the situation is over and a woman has the proper contact information, she has many choices about what action to take. She may not want to take further action, but often the experience inspires her to pave the way for future breastfeeding moms. There is a lot of support for moms who want to make positive changes after a violation of her breastfeeding rights, and the media is quite keen on breastfeeding activism right now. In my next article I'll talk about some resources a mother can utilize to gain support and take the next step after a violation of her rights.

A mom who worries about being discriminated against for breastfeeding can take comfort in knowing that as unlikely as it is, she can be prepared, avoid an embarrassing scene, and communicate calmly and effectively with anyone who violates her rights. Being prepared allows a mother to feel more comfortable breastfeeding her baby wherever and whenever she needs to.