Religion? No, Thank You

I've always been a very religious person. My parents--a Southern Baptist father and lapsed Catholic mother--both taught Sunday school at one point. My sister and I were made to read the Bible every night and sing happy-clappy, Jesus loves me songs. We were taught about heaven, with its streets of gold and an eternity of hanging out with God and Jesus, bowing and singing and worshiping; which to me never really seemed like an especially attractive eternity. We were taught about hell as well, much more so than heaven. Hell was a horrible place where demons tortured you in unimaginable ways (though we imagined quite a few!) and flames devoured you for eternity, because no matter how hot the flames or how demented the tortures- you could never die. Of course we didn't want to go there!

Needless to say, I had many issues growing up. I always tried to be what my parents and preachers told me to be so that I could avoid the pain of hell. But inside I wanted to think for myself and find out the answer to all those questions parents and preachers avoided answering. Rebelling against all authority, I dropped out of high school, ran away from home, got a GED, and hit the streets. It is there that I learned what hell really is. I learned that hell is very real, but it is not created by God. Evil is real, but it is not a mystical entity or something that is forced on us. It is simply one of many choices. I will not detail all the tortures I came through; the hunger, pain, addictions, hate. But I will tell you what I learned.

I've learned that people of every religion can be good, just as they can be evil. I have learned that a book alone cannot change the world. Rather, it is the people who live by it that change the world, and I have come to see that people, at their core, are good, but when driven by religion and holy books, more often cause evil than good. I have been harmed most in life by religious people. I have harmed myself most in the name of religion. I have hurt people in ways I never would have if I were following my heart, all because of my "faith" in a religion. And I have lost the love of the most amazing girl I have ever known to my need to conform perfectly to a religion.

Faith is wonderful, and worship is beneficial, but religion is risky. Religion, for me, is evil. It is a prison. I have been Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian, Evangelical, Methodist, Buddhist and everything in between, and the truth I have seen is that all of us are exactly the same. Satan is every totalitarian who would rob others of their freedom and ability to choose their own beliefs and way of life. God is every person who thinks not only of their own good, but the good of others as well. And not just the selfish, "what's good for me is what's good for others" good.

I no longer see God in a building or a denomination or a book. I see God in every person who gives something of themselves for the greater good. Every person who knows that what they do is right and does not need to validate their actions by comparing them to any holy book or church belief system is a person who really knows God, in my humble opinion. My opinion is that religions are like political parties, and should never be fanatically adhered to. Just as a political party has members who vary widely in their stance on the issues, religions consist of people with different morals and standards, or at least different degrees of these. When rational people try to deny their own minds in order to fit perfectly with the party, we get our Nazis and Fascists and any other dictatorship you care to name. Religion must be treated just as carefully as politics.

I remain a very spiritual person. I believe in God but cannot explain God, and I see no reason to try. I feel no need to expect anything from God or to try to impress anyone with my memorization of passages from a book. I cannot use God to justify my greed or lust or bigotry. My mistakes are my own and my flaws are mine to change. Now that I am finally free from religion, I can actually be the good person I always have been, without fearing that it is the wrong kind of good. I no longer have to deny my urge to be someone who cares about everyone, not just those who agree with my beliefs. Now I can live my life to the fullest, enjoying today and not worrying too much about tomorrow. I can take the time to actually help others now that I am not trying to constantly convert others. Now, whenever asked what religion I am, I can proudly say, "None."