Remarriage and the Elderly

In her book, Love Stories of Later Life, (Oxford University Press, 2008), Amanda Smith Barusch discusses the difficulties and benefits of remarriage in people in their sixties, seventies and older. Many people who remarry at this stage of life have previously enjoyed marriages that lasted thirty or forty years. Extreme loneliness can prompt a second marriage within a relatively short period of time.

How Does Remarriage in the Elderly Affect Their Families

By the time a married person reaches his seventies or eighties, he normally has a large extended family. This will be comprised of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and their respective spouses and in-laws. When an elderly person's partner dies and the surviving partner remarries, the effective size of the family can double. This can lead to complications and decisions about everything from birthday parties and Christmas to provisions in wills.

Practical Help for Dealing With Reminders of Previous Partners

Amanda Smith Barusch says that when she enters an elderly couple's family home, there is normally a strong presence of family photos and mementos on display. When remarrying, this is an area that will need to be discussed. Will the new spouse be happy to have photos of the deceased spouse on display? Can a wall be devoted to photos from both families? Taking this a step further, will a new spouse be willing to live in a house that his or her predecessor lived in for several decades?

A Second Marriage Can Offer new Opportunities and Growth

Every relationship is unique and a new marriage can offer much to elderly people. While it may not be infused with intense romantic attraction, years of experience can allow a new couple to find contentment, friendship and love. If both partners are willing to move on and help each other through grief and pain, their relationship can be extremely fulfilling.

Keep Communication Channels Open when Remarrying

Communication is the life of any relationship. It is essential to actively work on this area when elderly people remarry and have to adjust to each other's lifestyles. After previous marriages, most people are set in their ways and have routines for eating, bathing, shopping and watching television. Communication and compromise are the keys to creating a harmonious new life together. Sometimes it works to abandon previous routines and create new ones together.

Due to advances in health care and medical knowledge, people are living longer today than they were a few decades ago. This means that there are more marriages between elderly people than in years-gone-by. With understanding and communication, these relationships can blossom and be a blessing to both husband and wife.