Remember Me

Since Diana Ross' appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show the other day, a flood of memories has been flowing through my mind. As I mentioned in the piece Diana Ross: My First Diva, her music has been an enduring presence in my life's trials and tribulations and until recent days I haven't listened to any of her songs in long, long time.

I wrote a piece on my personal blog yesterday that I thought was worthy of a revision here. I've always placed a high value on appreciating the things and the people who've touched me in some way and enriched my life because of their presence. There's a Diana Ross song that's an old favorite of mine and from the moment I first heard it, I immediately made a connection with the wonderful words of master songwriters Nicholas Ashford and Valerie Simpson.

"Remember Me" is a song of separation and a reminder to cherish the memories of those we've loved and lost in one way or another. When I listen to the song, I hearken back to people in my life who've come and gone, but will never be forgotten. Memories of times shared with these people are as special to me as any happy memories I carry with me always. Take a look at the lyrics to "Remember Me":

Remember Me - (Nicholas Ashford and Valerie Simpson)

Bye baby, see you around
Didn't I tell you I wouldn't hold you down
Take good care of yourself, y'hear
Don't let me hear about you shedding a tear
You're gonna make it
You're gonna take it

Remember me as a sunny day
That you once had, along the way
Didn't I inspire you a little higher
Remember me as a funny clown
That made you laugh when you were down
Didn't I boy, didn't I boy

Remember me as a big balloon
At a carnival that ended too soon
Remember me as a breath of spring
Remember me as a good thing

Bye baby, see you around
I already know about the new love you've found
What can I do but wish you well
What we had was really swell
I won't forget it, I have no regrets

Remember me as a sound of laughter
And my face the morning after
Didn't the sky beckon us to fly?
Yes, you'll remember the times we fought
But don't forget me in your tender thoughts
Please darlin' oh yeah

Remember me when you drink the wine
Of sweet success and I gave you my best
Remember me every song you sing
Remember me as a good thing

Remember me as a sunny day
Please darling, remember me as a good thing
Remember me when you drink the wine
Remember me as a good thing
Remember me as a big balloon
Don't forget me darling

I just love everything about this song and I'm sure that anyone reading the lyrics can recall people from their past who've touched them in one way or another, remembering them as a "good thing." In listening to this song a couple of times during the past several days, I've been reminded of some people from my own past who I still hold dear in my heart and I'd like to pay some small tribute to them here:

The very first person I ever shared this song with was my high school girlfriend Karen. After about two years of being boyfriend and girlfriend, I ended our relationship once I'd begun to realize my true identity at the age of 19. Karen was and still is a very special person to me. She brought me out of a timid high school shell that I'd been living in for several years and for that I will be forever grateful!

I remember you, Karen, as a sunny day that I once had along the way.

Joey D was a good friend of mine for many years. In all of my life I've never shared such a connection as the one I had with him. He and I worked together at Stern's Department store for several years and he became a long time friend even after we both stopped working there. For years and years we've shared many a laugh and plenty of good times together. Unfortunately, about ten years ago Joey suddenly disappeared from mine and everyone else's life in pursuit of something that no one will ever know. I haven't heard from him since December of 2000. Until the day I die I will forever remember this very special person.

I remember you, Joey, as a funny clown, that made me laugh when I was down.

Kevin was one of my first steady boyfriends, and one I'll never forget. When I met him he was engaged to the female lover of his best friend who was a lesbian. He agreed to marry this girl, who was from Sweden, so she could stay in the country to be with Lisa, his friend. What he got in return was the chance to fool his family once and for all with a big, gaudy wedding. It was a memorable experience, for there were two wedding ceremonies, one at the justice of the peace and one at a reception hall. On both occasions I was the one who spent the night with the groom.

Kevin magnified my love for Diana Ross. To this day I've never met anyone who was such a big fan of anyone's. It was he who taught me the magic of the Supremes and many other, more obscure yet wonderful Diana Ross songs. I still have a cassette tape he made for me on Valentine's Day full of his favorites.

About six months into our relationship, Kevin confessed that he had cheated on me and ended the relationship before I had a chance to. I was heartbroken, but Kevin told me that I was special and that he wanted to remain friends. You can imagine the thoughts that were running through my head at the time, but true to his word, he persisted and we did eventually become great, great friends.

In the summer of 1990 I got a call from Kevin. He was finally pursuing his dream of living in Miami. He had a fondness for Latino men and warm weather and Miami was just the place for him to experience both. He'd bought a condo in Key Biscayne and quit his job. I was happy for him and excited that I'd have a place to visit, but unfortunately this would be the last time I'd ever speak to him.

In January of the following year, I got a call from Outi, the woman Kevin had married years earlier. She told me that Kevin had died of AIDS. He had gotten sick soon after moving to Florida and faded quickly. I was shocked and heartbroken, to say the least. To this day I still think of Kevin, and he's one person who certainly left us way too soon. He was only 33 years old.

I remember you, Kevin, as a big balloon at a carnival that ended too soon.

Joe has been the one and only love of my life to this point. Together, we spent 20 years sharing the kinds of memories that any couple might share. I remember about a week after I'd met him he came to visit me at my job to ask me a question.

"Do you like Madonna?" he asked.

Did I? Well of course! He'd bought two tickets to an upcoming concert in the hopes that I did indeed like Madonna (an understatement!) and wanted me to go with him. Next came one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me:

"Well, the concert's in August and I want you to know that if things don't work out you can still come."

That would be the first of many fond memories I'd have of Joe: "Thinking of you" cards left on my windshield early in the morning; moving into our first apartment together; trips to Aruba, Bermuda and Italy; buying our first house together; Broadway shows; parties, and countless other special times I will always cherish. Though he and I are still in one another's lives, of course it's different now.

I remember you, Joe, as a breath of spring. I remember you as a good thing!

These are but a few of the special people who've come along in my life only to go forth from it eventually. Though they are no longer with me, I will always remember them with great fondness and I'm grateful for the time I've spent with each and every one of them. At least I'll always have the song to help me remember!

To take a listen to "Remember Me" by Diana Ross, click here.

For more on Diana Ross, check out:

Diana Ross: My First Diva

Diana Ross' Top Twenty Songs

*Portions of this piece were previously published.