Representations of Gender in Asha Bandele's a Prisoner's Wife

The unpredictability that a reader can find in autobiographies that is often lacking in fictional books is refreshing. It keeps the reader guessing, and the autobiography being anchored in reality makes most assumptions that the reader may make about what will transpire in the book turn out to be at least a little bit off if not completely. The autobiography also offers the reader more of a chance to empathize with its characters in a way that most fictional works don't allow. Knowing that the characters of the book actually exist and actually feel the things described in the book allows the reader to allow themselves the freedom to become attached to the emotions and ideas presented in the book. In fictional books the reader may remain distanced from the characters as they constantly must ask themselves, "Is this realistic?"

Asha Bandele's autobiography, "A Prisoner's Wife," is raw with its emotions while telling the dueling stories of both Asha and her prisoner husband Rashid. The reader of this book may find the raw presentation of Asha's feelings rather surprising in comparison to fictional works that deal with similar topics as this book deals with. The autobiography's place in reality does a better job to show the complexities of gender than the fictional works one might read. It shows both the vulnerability and the strength of its male and female characters. This nonfictional work lends itself to a view of gender that is multifaceted, rather than one that is more strict in its borders.

Asha Bandele writes in a beautifully touching way. She does more than simply describe her struggles to her readers, she pulls them into her every emotion. She doesn't shy away from being seen as vulnerable. She also takes pride in her strengths subtly through her persistence in the relationship. While she struggles internally with whether or not she can handle being with a man in prison, all that matters ultimately is the outcome of this struggle, she stays with him.

There are times in the book when Asha reveals her internal struggles with what one could consider traditional female roles. She is resistant to Rashid's attempts to control her. She doesn't favor him telling her how to dress. She also struggles with the idea of monogamy, and how such a notion could be possible when with a man who is in prison. However, as her relationship with Rashid progresses she finds that she tries to suppress her desires because of guilt and loyalty. Asha's struggles reveal a bit about Rashid's struggles as well.

When Asha discusses her feelings regarding monogamy, he shows understanding yet still shows resistance to the idea that it may not be possible in Asha's mind. He seems to display the typical male mindset of, "that's mind, stay away." The typical male feelings of ownership over a woman. This can also be seen in his attempts to control what Asha wears, as mentioned before. Rashid doesn't show display this rough and tumble exterior, he also has a soft side. He concedes to the idea that perhaps Asha does need some physical attention from other men because of the confines placed on their relationship by his incarceration.

These depictions of Asha and Rashid allow the reader to see that they have internal struggles that most likely parallel their own internal struggles. They show a vulnerability that at many times is in such close proximity to strength that the two are nearly inseparable. This close intertwinement of strength and vulnerability, of masculine and feminine characteristics gives the reader a more realistic depiction of gender. It shows the reader that males and females can not be easily placed inside a box according to body parts, rather they swim in a pool of feminine and masculine characteristics. Both Rashid and Asha struggle with emotions, they both have moments of strength, moments of trying to exert their wants over the other.