Republican Party Animal

The governor of South Carolina has given men a new euphemism for having sex, "Hiking the Appalachian Trail".

"Honey, you know, I'm just going out. Sightseeing. Checking out some mountains, some valleys, maybe even explore a cave or two. The usual stuff. And by the way, I'll be out of phone range. I don't want to be disturbed while I'm exploring some natural beauty."

The man is a genius! The guy says that he is 'sleeping out' when he is sleeping around! And I thought Karl Rove was great at manipulating words!

Of course, if you actually ARE going hiking the Appalachian Trail, now your wife will never believe you again. She'll riffle through your backpack looking for condoms, checking your insect repellant to see if it is actually cologne, sniffing L. L. Bean flannel shirt for the scent of perfume, and black lighting your sleeping bag for signs of 'bodily fluids'.

On the other hand he has ruined a very useful code word, an innocent phrase, "A very very good friend". Now every woman in America knows what a man means when he refers to the girl in the office as just 'a very very good friend'!

The Governor didn't even 'buy American'. He had to outsource some girl from Argentina! Maybe he can be named to the Department of 'Foreign Affairs'!

Republicans wanted to impeach Bill Clinton for having an affair with an intern in his office. Well, actually they didn't want to impeach him. They wanted to nail his testicles to the wall of the Republican National Headquarters' break room! Everyone knew that Bill was a real hound, a horn dog of the highest caliber. But Governor Sanford preached responsibility and self restraint. He pushed fiscal self-restraint, but had problems with physical self-restraint.

When the Democrats won the last election, the Republicans sounded the alarm! The halls of power would soon make Sodom and Gomorrah look like a convent. Little did we realize that they were talking about their own party.

From what I can see, it is not the gay community that is a threat to the family and the sanctity of marriage it is the Republican Party! Republican politicians seem to see the family structure as consisting of a husband, a wife, the children, a mistress (or two), and perhaps some under-aged girls. The party of 'Marriage Protection' and 'Family Values' seems to value the family less than some sex on the side. If you really want a 'Marriage Protection' bill, forget gay marriage . . .make adultery a stoning offense again! Think about it . . . who would you want taking care of your young daughter, a gay guy or the Governor of South Carolina. Who would you prefer to entrust the care of your son -- a gay woman or that pervert in the bathroom stall in Minnesota?

I'm not sure how all of this will play out over the next few weeks. So, all I can say to Governor Sanford is 'happy trails to you'!