Requesting Toys that Align with Your Parenting Philosophies Without Being Offensive

We live hours away from most of our relatives. As baby's first birthday is fast approaching, we are getting people who ask what to get us. We are a family who strives to raise our child in a wholesome natural environment, and sometimes gifts don't quite fit along with this theme. Our standard answer to the classic question, "what does she want for her birthday?" is Books- quality over quantity, and we are starting a Brio collection for her. Everyone can agree that books are great for kids, and many adults love picking out a classic, like Goodnight Moon, or a beautiful book like Jan Brett's The Mitten. Brio is a brand that comes in a variety of price ranges and its natural wood and ability to be played with in an open-ended fashion conform with our ideals in child's play things.

When she was first born I asked for the above things in addition to clothing. I found that it was just hard for people to buy clothing that fit over cloth diapers, or the clothes fit in the wrong season, or they were a synthetic material that we don't like. I understand that I am a little more particular than most about what my child wears or plays with, and rather than put a bunch of restrictions on what people 'can and can't' give her, I prefer to just give ideas of what they could use.

Brio

Brio trains are great. They come in mostly natural materials (the wheels are plastic) and the tracks can be rearranged for creative play for all ages. The bright colors are a favorite with my daughter. As a bonus, they come in different packages for different price ranges. Grandma who wants to spend $50 on grandbaby's birthday can buy a larger set, while a cousin who might want to spend closer to $6 can buy a special car. These are heirloom quality toys that will last generations. They are also sold in toy stores throughout the US for those relatives who are wary about shopping online.

Books

Books, like Brio, have a variety of prices and last through generations. When you specify that you would like quality over quantity, or that you would like a specific kind of book (like a Children's Bible), then you haven't left Grandmother cruising the toy store aimlessly wondering what the new hot toy for tots is. Be sure to reassure her that you and your child love to read together and treasure the books. She will feel good about contributing to the new family tradition, and you aren't obligated to find room for yet another Harry Potter action figure, and you aren't forced to bend your morals (if your family chooses not to have video games for your children) regarding video games if given a Gameboy or Leap Frog.

Online retailers

There are wonderful online retailers, such as Amazon, that carry natural toys. For some relatives, they are adept at shopping online and appreciate specific links. I don't send specific links unless I am assured that they appreciate the gesture, as some people are offended by this. But for those who like that, you are able to branch out a little bit more in the natural toy world. Asking for something specific, like playsilks or a Melissa and Doug Piano, from an aunt who only shops the toy store in her town will just render her confused and perhaps resentful.

Thankfulness

Regardless of whether the gift goes along with what you believe or not, do teach your child to be thankful and show that you are thankful that they thought of your child. If the person would not be offended, and you want to exchange for a toy that better fits with your philosophy, feel free to ask for the receipt. If the person would be offended, just smile and take the toy and explain to your child later on that it does not fit in with your family values and that we are going to donate it to a family who would be able to use it. This is how we ask for gifts in our house, and so far it has worked remarkably well. The key isn't getting exactly what you want, but it is spreading the joy from the giver.