Resipiscence of Coming into Life as Gifted Adult

What does it mean to be gifted? As a child it often means you are very smart, but can it also mean that you get into trouble a lot? Or maybe it just means you are a dork. Are gifted people all verbose and critical? There really isn't any one answer to these questions in my opinion. For instance I was tipped off that a local school, which is dedicated to schooling gifted youth contains a vast majority of Caucasian, or Europoid as described in Wikipedia, but doesn't make sense as there are countless examples of gifted people in every color us humans come in. I'm looking into such schools because I have learned there is a high probability that my daughters, one of which is mixed race will likely be gifted as well and I want to support them in getting into gifted programs that help them with not just their academic achievements but their social development as well. Fortunately the local public school in our district does have a well regarded gifted program so for now we'll stick with either that or homeschooling.

For me, I was a relatively normal kid and at some point was tested but through a variety of life circumstances my academic life was kind of thrown into a blender resulting in my having grown up a lot like an 'army brat' though I coined the term 'nomadic tech child' for myself giving homage to the moves that happened due to my fathers software development gigs and the tech savvy nature I surely inherited from being around it.

Although it is an interesting story to talk about all of the different schools, neighborhoods, states and situations I lived in that isn't the point of this story, just a variable. I believe I was first tested in 4th grade while in the Portland School District. I vaguely remember taking tests for a "T.A.G." (Talented and gifted, program though I do not recall ever hearing anything about the results. In recent conversations with my mother I learned that they did give me a 'gifted' label at that time and while they didn't let me know it was being integrated into my curriculum in a subtle way that I was unaware of. One thing I remember was that my teacher let me almost 'wander' through the classroom at times while he was talking, standing up, leaning on the wall while he was talking and other similar behaviors that were tolerated perhaps for this reason but looking back I figured I was probably ADD.

It didn't add up though. I know this because have multiple sclerosis, and sometimes this can cause cognitive issues, which is why I took the initiative to get a neuro-psychological examination which did not indicate that I had ADHD/ADD. My husband and I have both been on an almost compulsive self help journey for some time and what led to this latest 'gifted' variable was a conversation he had with an old friend from his childhood. This friend was the one who apparently taught my husband the first method he learned to solve a rubik's cube, and they over the course of this conversation discussed the gifted program that they were in at the time.

While hearing him talk about all of this, and seeing his relief at having realized he is smart though, I didn't get it. I knew he was smart, and honestly I felt kind of left out. I felt jealous, at his rediscovering this connection he has with not just this friend, but with other friends. I was watching him as he kind of realized, one at a time that a huge number of his friends, in fact all of his closest ones it seems were clearly highly intelligent and gifted people, many of which I didn't know who had conversations with my husband about esoteric things that I have a hard time grasping (usually more due to lack of knowledge than concept though).

This started me on my own journey...my recent test, the neuropsych one had some measures of IQ and 'unique' processing that I was told was very 'rare', and I began, along with my husband, taking some online IQ tests and mensa practice questions to see how well I did. Not so bad! My Mensa results from the Mensa Fun Test/Workout said that I had a very good chance of qualifying for their organization which was great, but really just increased the obsession.

As a kid, I got into a lot of trouble, in fact I was one of those kids that was sent to a survival camp (similar to "Brat Camp" but many years/regulations earlier) and continued to have a hard time after getting out of these therapeutic treatment centers until I was able to establish independence through getting my drivers license at 16 and taking a Running Start program where I was able to take my high school classes at a college and also do things like have a job on my own schedule. I tried calling the survival camp to get my records, I remember that they had me taking tests psychological and iq that took hours and just knew there had to be some data somewhere from that. I was almost devastated when I learned that those records had been destroyed, the time had passed and they were no longer required to keep it. I had a conversation with my mother about it who brilliantly pointed out that the school I attended after the camp would SURELY have the records!

So I started on the phone calls to get a hold of them, this was not easy because their sites were down as they were recently closed down for child abuse but fortunately for me they do have a records office that was very prompt in mailing me my test scores!

I read through the psychological evaluation and the test score results and was simultaneously shocked and validated at the same time. Memories of being bored in class, being accused of cheating, being given 'special' privileges for always knowing the answer and much more just flooded my mind...they suddenly made sense. My social life (or lack thereof!) also makes sense, resources my husband has directed me towards felt so eerily familiar yet I still wasn't sure, the most basic of which is a general feeling of not fitting in. For me, I have a hard time relating to a lot of people, or should I say I really don't feel like they relate to me. My characteristics that we were attributing to something like ADD were right on cue with the gifted label, the main one being my obsession with creating, learning and experiencing new things. Often times this can be seen as unfocused, but if you read into the gifted literature, it is almost a requirement to maintain and interest in life, repetition is like torture. It helps to explain how I get so incredibly excited about new projects yet am so willing to hand them over to someone else.

For me this has been an amazingly eye opening experience and I am learning more and more about it, for instance I know that I score really high in the visual and spacial intelligence which is something I feel like contacting some of my old teachers about! As a young teenager I used to get into so much trouble for drawing while my teacher was lecturing, I was accused of 'not listening' when for me that was the only way I could really pay attention was if my hands were busy doing something else.

If your children are gifted, please tell them. I am dealing with the low self esteem, unclear vision of myself and where I fit in. I wasn't a part of any sort of a gifted program, and looking back I wish I was, I wish I knew other people who might have been able to relate to me who I could call on the phone to talk about the good old days. Often it runs families too so if your child is gifted, you might want to look into getting yourself tested as well, it could explain some things.

1 - Causasian Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race
2 - Mensa Fun Test: http://www.mensa.org/workout2.php