Respecting the Privacy of Your Child

Our teenage child needs the same privacy that we need as adults. You, as a parent, must respect this privacy as a teenager has the propensity to be extremely defensive of his personal turf. This is because he is a growing adult and would like to let you know that he is no longer a young tot to be cuddled and controlled. You must understand that in his quest to establish his independence, he is extra-sensitive to any intrusion from anyone, including you.

What then could you do to maintain the delicate balance between respecting his privacy and imposing your parenting rules? One quotation could answer this question: "It is only with the heart than one can see rightly." This famous quote from Exupery indicates that when you cannot decide what course of action to do, "see" things with your heart, and you will never go wrong. What would a loving parent do?

The following are methods that you could adapt:

1.

Oftentimes, we forget to knock before we enter his room. We must make it a point to always knock.

This will demonstrate to him that you respect his privacy.

2.

Do not intrude into his room when he is with friends, unless it is something very important. You must trust him to do what is right.

3.

Do not command him what to do or order him around like a child. Teenagers are rebellious at this stage, so you must think of them as adults whom you could only guide and advice but not to command like little children.

4.

When you want to give him a tongue lashing because of a wrong decision, bite your tongue. Let him draw the conclusion himself and suffer the consequences of his actions. You don't have to say, "I told you so!" This will only make him detest you.

5.

Allow him to make major decisions about what happens in his life; course to pursue in college, his choice of friends, etc.

This will send the message to him that you consider him a responsible adult and trust him enough to allow him to arrive to sound decisions.

6.

Do not "touch" any of his things without his permission. That would be invading his privacy. Teenagers are very particular and possessive about their personal paraphernalia.

Adapt the slogan "Hands off!" to avoid inspiring his ire and mistrust. You would earn his respect when you respect his privacy too.

7.

Never reprimand him in front of his peers. When you do this, this is indirectly saying that you still consider him a child.

Just remember that everything you do should be out of love. Your heart as a parent would guide you. Your acceptance of the fact that your child is on his transformation to adulthood would help a lot in balancing the way you treat him as an adult and the method in which you exercise your parental control over him. Trust him and most often, he will live up to your expectations. Good luck!