Respecting Women: Hip Hop or Rap?

I see heads turn when I drive down the street with my music blasting, scowl on my face, and snapping my fingers to some of the latest hip hop and rap jams. Bystanders wonder how I can be charged from such aggressive music. When nonfans of rap music get in my car or enter my home, I might change up the music to put them more at ease. At parties and clubs, I look out for my hip hop and rap jams to come on so I can get on the dance floor. I even called a cell phone company once to complain about a certain rap song not coming in correctly to my flip phone. But when the Customer Service representative asked me to repeat the name of the song I was trying to download, I hesitated to tell him. There are those who understand hip hop and rap, and those that don't. Sometimes I ride the lines between both, as a black woman who respects herself but still has faith in this over 30-year-old music.

Before I confuse you, let me explain that I distinguish between the two terms: rap and hip hop. Hip hop is upliftment music that primarily rhymes about current events affecting the Black community. Multisyllabics, similes, metaphors, and storytelling are used to move hip hop music. Usually even in a cappella, the lyrics to a hip hop song will stop a listener cold in their tracks to bob their heads to the song.

Then there's rap music, which is basically the bratty cousin of hip hop. Rap likes to boast about monetary value for material things, explain how tough it is, and doesn't care too much about being clever with the wordplay; it just wants to get the word out. Radio listeners are far more likely to hear rap than hip hop. And there are those listeners who have given up on hip hop because there is so much more rap being exposed to the public. Don't misunderstand me. I blast plenty of rap music, but it is from artists who aren't insulting me in the process. Let Rich Boy's "Boy Looka Here" come on and I'll lose my mind when the beat drops. The same goes for UNK's "Walk It Out," Da Backwudz's "I Don't Like the Look of It," Tech N9Ne's "It's Alive," Jibb's "King Kong," and The Game's "One Blood."

Chris Rock discussed women in hip hop in his 2004 comedy DVD Never Scared. I laughed heartily when he stated that "Women that like rap don't give a fuck. Women that like rap don't care what they're saying. If the beats all right, she will dance all night." I can't lie. There are plenty of examples when this is indeed true, including times I've danced and recited songs that I knew were about as degrading as degrading could possibly be (ex. "Fire" by Joe Budden). There have been times where I've tuned out the words to a rap just because the beat was so tight. And if a song is too ridiculous, I'll either not support that song or buy the edited version, but I don't usually give up on the artist altogether. I can only think of two rappers who I have never been fans of and that would be Snoop Doggy Dogg and Too Short because those two never distinguish between women, bitches, and hos. Sadly, these artists look at the three groups as the same thing regardless of Snoop doing a couple hits with Pharrell, like "Beautiful." For example, when Nelly made the video for "Tip Drill," I didn't watch the video more than once, but I didn't stop liking him as an artist. Although extremely disappointed that Busta Rhymes' song "I Love My Chick" had an unedited version "I Love My Bitch;" instead of cringing through the whole song, I bought the edited version. I have the edited version of "The Whisper Song" by the Ying Yang Twins, "You Gotta Lotta That" by Ice Cube, and many others. I can even tolerate lyricists like Jay-Z who understand that there is a difference between a woman and a bitch or ho; he explained this on his song "Bitches & Sistas." I gasped when I heard the unedited version of Jay-Z's label-mate, Memphis Bleek's, song "Do My" and he really did say "ladies" instead of some other vulgar word.

It's disappointing to be surprised when a rap doesn't speak badly of women. This should be normal. Artists wonder why people are buying less music. Besides Itunes and Napster letting people buy singles, I've heard many women say they just can't cut it, listening to a whole CD telling them they're about nothing. With the edited singles of songs, I don't have to listen to rappers tell me about their bitches and hos and how they'll strong arm a woman if she doesn't give up sex. When I was younger, I was more tolerant of artists calling women out of their name, but the reason was because it was so new to me. Rap and hip hop weren't always separate and at one point, it wasn't common to hear rappers and hip hop artists running off every single insult in the book about a woman they knew or want to know.

I know there will be a day, probably sooner rather than later, that I will stop giving rappers a chance. I miss my younger days when, in addition to positive Black lyricists, there were positive sistas on the scene with their clothes on, unwilling to accept misogynistic lyrics and maintain their self-respect. What happened to the Queen Latifahs, MC Lytes, Salt n' Pepas, Monie Loves, Yo-Yos, and Left Eyes who snapped on men for disrespecting them? How did rap manage to replace hip hop with pathetically naked women jiggling their butts, shaking their breasts, and groping men? Even female rap artists out today have to sink to an all-time low to be respected in rap music or have choruses that have nothing to do with the main point of the song to get airplay (ex. Shawnna's "Gettin' Some").

Brothas love to hear songs big-upping them, such as Angie Stone's song "Brotha." This is where R&B will always be superior to rap. R&B artists are still holding strong to respecting each other, even when they've been done wrong, although I'm slowly starting to see R&B be overcrowded with rappers, such as on Joe's latest CD Ain't Nothing Like Me. But Joe isn't calling women out of their names. He understands that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed in order to keep a female fan base. It's almost hypocritical when rappers get mad at icons like Oprah for not liking rap music. Can you blame her? There is a large amount of men who won't watch television shows, movies, or read books that complain about no-good men, but rappers get defensive when women defend themselves by not supporting misogynistic music. Equality doesn't work that way. A man can't demand respect from a woman and expect her to accept disrespect in return. Telling women to turn off their radios because they don't like what's on is equal to saying for black people not to listen to Kramer or Imus if we don't want to hear insults to brothas and sistas.

As a woman who loves hip hop, I want it back. I want hip hop to win the war with rap or rap to take notes from hip hop. Nas said hip hop was dead, but I don't believe it. It's losing the fight right now, but one good rap-like uppercut and hip hop heads can get back in the ring. Fighters like Lupe Fiasco, Mos Def, Common, Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, Rakim (when he keeps peeking back on the scene), grown man Jay-Z, now semi-conscious Ludacris, the political side of Ice Cube, and the straighter side of Nas battle racism, materialism, sexism, and chauvinism. It's up to the hip hop heads, especially the ones with vaginas that rappers love to talk about, to decide which side they're on. Women have to understand personal responsibility and self-respect. If you want rappers to respect you, stop trying out for music videos that remind them why they laugh at you in the first place. If you want rappers to stop calling you hos, close your legs and dust off your brains. They can't rap about things they can't see and if they have plenty of examples, that gives them more ammunition. The only way to right the wrongs is to show rappers the fine art of hip hop.