Restaurant Review: Rotten Ralph's in Old City Philadelphia

Rotten Ralph's is located in a beautiful part of Philadelphia-- historic Old City (sometimes quaintly spelled "Olde City"). On the corner of 2nd and Chestnut Streets, Rotten Ralph's has a great view of the tourist traffic and is close to everything you want to see in Old City. It's not one of the hipster-y places that Old City is known for, and at first blush it appears to be a welcome relief for locals and tourists who are tired of spending loads of cash at Old City tourist traps.

But you're better off shelling the money out somewhere where your tourist dollar is wanted and appreciated.

Walking in to Rotten Ralph's, you see a small bar that looks like your standard neighborhood watering hole. Upstairs is a dining are with lots of windows and a view of the intersection. We took one of the better tables right next to a window and were thrilled with how nice and cool it was upstairs, as opposed to downstairs where the open doors and lack of ventilation made the bar area an unattractive waystation for those of us who had been walking in the heat and humidity for the last couple of hours.

We should have taken a hint from the table of six positioned catty corner from ours, because they were experiencing terrible service. First, their server apologized for her inability to attend to them. Then, she apologized for menu items that the patrons had ordered that were no longer available. She came by with apology after apology and excuse after excuse for a plethora of other food service misdeeds, and this was all before we'd even placed our drink order. We thought we were safe, since we had a different server.

We were not.

It took us at least twenty minutes to receive our drink order (nothing terribly fancy at Rotten Ralph's- your standard bottled beers and draughts and mixed drinks). I ordered the crab-stuffed mushrooms, thinking the $8.75 appetizer would be enough, and not wanting a full meal (though entrees were priced pretty close to my appetizer). My friend ordered the special, ravioli with sweet sausage in a marinara sauce.

And then we waited. And waited. And waited. Our long-lost server stopped by to see if we wanted another drink, and we asked her to to check on the status of our food order, and told her that if it wasn't ready we would rather just cancel the order. We had had enough. We were starving. She returned with our order (and with the order of the table next to ours, who had arrived half an hour after us). My crab-stuffed mushrooms were medium size, but there were only three. They were bland and clearly of the frozen variety, and not even close to worth the $8.75 paid for them. In contrast, my friend received (for a few cents more), a large plate of ravioli with garlic bread and grilled zucchini slices. Unfortunately, quantity is not everything, as we soon discovered: the ravioli was also clearly from a freezer bag, and the marinara was what I like to call "semi-homemade." As in, it was canned marinara sauce with some spices added in by the cook to make it seem as though it was not from a can. In this case, the cook added so much oregano to the sauce that no other flavor could be discerned. It was oregano flavored tomato sauce. Add to that the rock hard garlic bread and limp, lukewarm zucchini, and my friend had an unfulfilling meal that filled him up, but nothing more.

By the time out server returned with our check (no small amount of time), we were fairly unhappy. There's a lot of bad service one can forgive with good food, and some bad food one can forgive with good service. We had received neither, and we felt more than a little robbed. When our server asked if everything had been good, we couldn't even muster the customary lukewarm "yes, thanks." "Not impressed, huh?" she laughed. No, we agreed, we were not. She then asked if we'd like to see the dessert menu, and we tried not to laugh. We could well-imagine the frozen Sara Lee cheesecake we were sure to get in half an hour. We were done with Rotten Ralph's. Especially when we received a bill for over $40 for fare that a chain restaurant would have been embarrassed to serve for far less money.

Rotten Ralph's likely subsists on the business of unsuspecting tourists-- one-time visitors whose business Rotten Ralph's doesn't need to cultivate with tasty food and friendly, efficient service. My friend and I doubt that any locals frequent Rotten Ralph's, and if they do, they probably stick with the bar. We suggest that you do the same.