Restaurant Tipping Etiquette: Are Tips and Gratuities an Outdated Custom?

Tipping started out as gifting extra money to show appreciation for an exceptionally well done job. This philosophy was great because it encouraged servers to provide great service. But now, tipping is expected regardless of the level of service. Why do people continue to tip when the meaning has been lost?

Fear of Embarrassment

I once had a waitress literally run to catch me at the exit. People were staring, most likely wondering if my friend and I skipped out on the bill. As the waitress demanded to know why we didn't leave her a tip, my friend took her young daughter outside. As she passed my ear, she whispered, "a tip for what?" The service had been so bad that of course we didn't tip. The waitress had been training someone, and between them both, our table was completely ignored. She never brought the requested extra napkins, which was a problem when my friend's daughter knocked over her drink. We had to take napkins off an area that was for the staff only to wipe up the mess ourselves. This was a sit-down steakhouse restaurant that I had been to many times before. If we'd been somewhere cheap the lack of service would have been understandable. The waitress also didn't clear the dishes, didn't offer a chance to order dessert, and most importantly we had to eat our meals with nothing to drink or else the food would have gotten cold. But rather than engage in an argument by listing all these issues, I simply told her that it was unacceptable to take literally twenty minutes for drink refills that were requested when the food was brought, and then I walked out the door. After this incident, my friend always left a tip no matter how bad the service was due to fear of embarrassment.

Peer Pressure

Some people tip because the other person at their table wants to leave a tip and they feel required to do so as well. Sometimes this causes hard feelings because one person doesn't believe in tipping, can't afford to tip, or felt the service didn't warrant a tip. When the service is horrible, it is a slap in the face to the other person at your table to leave a tip. It's like saying, thank you for ruining my friend's meal.

Forced Tipping

Hotels are worse than restaurants as they put customers into situations where tipping is required. I had a horrible experience with valet parking after checking out of a hotel that didn't allow parking your own car or carrying your own luggage in Washington, D.C. While I waited with the bellboy and my luggage, the valet brought my vehicle around and parked in the middle of the street. He got out, left my vehicle running, and waited for his tip. The problem was that the bellboy wanted to load the luggage and the SUV back door was locked. I told the valet that I had to have the keys to open the back. He looked confused, so I stepped away to get the keys from the ignition myself, and he wandered off while my back was turned. I had every intention of tipping him after opening the door for the bellboy. The two of them pulling me in different directions, on top of worrying about a cop seeing my vehicle in the middle of the street, was stressful. Even though I would have tipped him given the chance, I do feel it is ridiculous to have to tip someone every time the hotel is left and upon return. For what that costs, and the waiting involved, a taxi would be easier. I'll never stay somewhere again that has required valet parking.

Should tipping end?

The argument typically used for tipping is that many service industry workers make less than half of minimum wage. Regardless, it isn't the customer's responsibility to subsidize what the employer should be paying. There is no way to tell who is underpaid if that was the basis for tipping. Some of the people insisting on tips probably make more than the person tipping them!

Tax evasion is another reason tipping should end. Many people don't report all of their tips to the IRS. Who knows what government assistance programs these people are applying for and receiving based on their under-reported income? One way to close this loophole is for all tips to come from credit cards so the business will have to report the income. But the only true way to stop the scam is to end tipping all together.

The only way tipping is going to end is if everyone stops doing it. This would actually help the underpaid workers because the employers would be forced to pay a set wage. The whole meaning of the word tip has been lost and the custom should be eliminated.