Retail Packaging

I'm going to find one of those machines that packages everything you buy off store shelves these days and use it to make myself a gun safe. I can think of no better way to secure my valuables from thieves, and it would likely be cheaper than a safe.

It used to be the big frustration after the Christmas gifts were opened was in assembly. Now one can be driven to distraction simply via the act of trying to open the packages.

You can't use scissors very effectively on this material, as the plastic tends to have sharp edges of its own after being cut, and once you're in past the length of the scissor blades you run the risk of a cut on your fingers or hand from the stuff. The only thing that works well is a really sharp knife, but if you're not careful you will damage the contents you are hoping to extract with it.

I've been doing a bit of research on plastic injection molding, thinking perhaps there is some nefarious conspiracy behind it. In so doing I've discovered several injection molding companies, one of which is "Master Molded Products", or, translated into the vulgar toungue, "Master of Mordor Products".

Yes, I think it is Sauron himself that has developed this evil plot. The plastics used in the process of creating this retail packaging cannot be destroyed unless you travel to the land of sorrows itself and cast them into the fires of Mount Doom. Inside the factories that make it wicked Orcs and Goblins slave away to encase your toys, electric shavers, and all manner of medium to small sized gadgetry in the transparent shielding.

One day, after they have perfected it to the point that even knives and razor blades cannot sever it, the orcs and goblins will descend upon us, wearing impenetrable injection molded armor (the evil answer to mithril), wreaking havoc upon man and dwarf alike as we struggle to free our weapons from their injection molded restraints. The elves knew this would happen, that's why they all sailed away to the elvish havens at the end of the third age.

This is how the Dark Lord will finally conquer middle earth.

Yes, I had wild mushroom stuffing for Christmas. Why do you ask?