Retrospective Memory

today is nonstop writing

nothing but

catharsis, in a way

but more like laying out

the things i thought

gather them up

and put them someplace else

i don't remember who we could have been

after this

life was always coming up ahead

waiting just behind

last night i said

this is the best thing that i've ever known

the future never gets here

we are now.

and i looked over, in the moonlight

caught a smile

i should have held it.

he says a million different things

and can't imagines

and idefinites

and i, torn bleak and ragged from exhaustion

couldn't hear.

if there is hell it's

retrospect

and we live in it forever.

"we were made this way, i think

for each other."

if my memories could stay with me

we'd never have to hurt.