Return of Dark

My heart stops beating, seconds tick by
Shooting through my blood is a spark
I can feel that dread coming again
I surrender myself to the dark
Letting it wash all over me
From this pain I cannot part
So why try and fight it anymore
It is wrenching apart my heart

The demons haunt me night and day
Not leaving a moment for rest
Screams well up from deep inside
Putting my sanity to the test
I make it through a day at a time
Carrying this knife in my chest
I somehow pull through each time
Learning nothing but strength at best

I know that this will never end
There is nothing that can take it away
I dream of a death for myself
And wonder when I will get my day
As much as I try to keep on going
Inside I know that I don't want to stay
When it all becomes way too much
I go to find a quiet place to pray

I grow more tired of waiting
Days turn to weeks then to a year
The world keeps on moving around me
But in my head it is only me I hear
When the calm settles over me
I hope my time is drawing near

I fear myself in this moment
My dream just might come true
I'm not scared of death itself
It shows in these eyes of blue
I feel my heartbeat steady
Now I must decide what to do
Going forward has no way out
And there's no turning back to you