Returning to School as a Single Mom

At the age of thirty, as the single parent of a three-year-old daughter, I returned to school to finish my bachelor's degree. The decision was not an easy one. It had been thirteen years since high school, five years since the last college course I had taken. Even with financial aid, I would need to work part-time and send my daughter to daycare. It was, however, a necessary decision. None of the jobs I could find without a college degree would allow me to support myself and my daughter alone.

To make things more affordable, I chose a large university which had a housing program for families. Their apartments, while not exactly luxurious, were at least clean, well-kept, and were rented at reduced rates to students who had families. I was lucky enough to have the support of my parents and my brother, who helped me to move and get settled in.

That first day was something of a nightmare. When we had unloaded the rental truck and said goodbye to my parents and my brother, my three-year-old daughter and I went back to our upstairs apartment. I stood in the doorway, holding my daughter's hand and looking at the jumble of furniture, boxes, and odds 'n ends which littered the entire place. To make matters worse, my daughter chose that exact moment to begin to cry.

She missed her grandparents and "Uncle Brian" already, having been used to them being a huge part of her day-to-day life. The fact that she was tired and hungry didn't help much either. Although I felt like breaking into tears with her, I luckily realized that I had to be the responsible one. I was, after all, the tallest, and the one whose name was on the lease!

Leaving the mess behind, I grabbed my car keys and managed to find the nearest McDonald's (her favorite place for lunch) in a city I knew virtually nothing about. My daughter felt a little better after eating and, as she played on the playscape, I tried to plan how I would deal with the mess which awaited me.

I had three-and-one-half days until my classes started. There was the apartment to get into some kind of order, unpacking to do, three daycare centers to tour before choosing one, groceries to buy- The list seemed endless. And impossible! I felt totally overwhelmed by what I had taken on, and wondered if I were crazy.

For the rest of that day, I moved furniture and unpacked, giving my daughter little tasks to help and keep her occupied. As I shifted our things from one place to another, she put away toys and counted forks and spoons for me. We talked about everything, as much to keep my mind busy as hers.

One of the problems was knowing no one else in the city. We did manage to remedy that problem at dinner that night. Once again finding ourselves at McDonald's (since there was no food in our house yet), we met several other parents who were students in family housing as well. My daughter immediately began to make friends, as did I-very relieved to find others who were in the same boat.

We did manage to make it through that first few days. The apartment was in order (mostly), her daycare center had been toured and approved by both of us, and I had managed to make it to the grocery store for milk, cereal, juice, and other necessities. It had been harrowing, to say the least!

Now, having long ago finished school, and with my daughter having turned 18 and preparing to go to college herself now, I remember those first few days of my own college experience. And, though I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything, I thank goodness that she will be attending as a recent high school graduate and without children!