Reveling in Time Alone: Ideas for Spending Quality Time by Yourself

Having grown up as an only child in a small family, I am quite comfortable spending large amounts of time alone. Although I do enjoy other people's company on a regular basis, friends sometimes tease me about being a bit of a loner - the kind of allegedly "weird" person who goes out to eat by himself and doesn't think that spending a full day in public without company is unusual. I admit to reveling in time alone.

So, I'll proclaim myself an expert in the field of enjoying your own company - a pasttime in which many people, regardless of extraversion, forget to indulge. You should be reveling in time alone as much as you revel in time spent with others. Alternating social interaction and "me time" is healthy!

If you're short on ideas for reveling in time alone, consider these suggestions:

[Note: I've broken the activities up into "at-home" and "out in public," but some of these ways of reveling in time alone are appropriate in either setting.]

Reveling in Time Alone: At-Home Ideas

- Buy language lessons and practice learning a new language.
- Curl up with a good book - the sort you "don't want to put down."
- Listen to music. Listen to it actively instead of passively. Experience it in a way you don't when it's just in the background.
- Write. Whether you journal, write a story, or just ramble on paper for kicks, writing is a productive way of reveling time alone. A chance to clear your thoughts, maybe?
- Rearrange your furniture. If you live alone and thus won't inconvenience others without consulting them, go ahead and reorient your milieu.
- Clean. The physical act of cleaning tends to result in a sense of accomplishment because a tangible task has been completed. This is especially nice at times when everything else in your world seems unsettled and hard to "finish."
- Do a crossword puzzle. The New York Times puzzle is especially challenging and fun. While it's a great thing to do with a friend, it's also stimulating to do by yourself. See how far you can get.
- Dance. Put on your favorite music and dance by yourself. Dance on the bed, dance in the hallway, dance on the shower (carefully), dance in the kitchen. Dance by yourself, and experience a different kind if release. Just don't leave the webcam on.
- Work on a craft or a piece of art. If you have a hobby that results in an end product - sewing, painting, knitting, drawing, whittling, papermaking - spend some time doing it alone. There's an austere loveliness in that.
- Masturbate (in private, of course). Whether you are involved in a sexual relationship or not, this is a healthy and pleasurable way to go about reveling in time alone. If you're not comfortable spending time alone with your body, you may want to consult someone about that.
- Catch up on current events by reading, watching TV, etc. Find out what's happening in the world, and make your own assessments about it without input from politico acquaintances.
- Take a nap. If you need a break from the world, curl up on the couch or in your bed - and focus on the softness of the pillow, the warmth of the blankets, and the snugness of the scenario. I never said you needed to be awake when reveling in time alone.

Reveling in Time Alone: Out-In-Public Ideas

- Go for a long walk and just think. Spend time alone with your thoughts, people-watch, and notice things that you don't notice when you're distracted with companions.
- Go to your favorite restaurant, order your favorite food, and enjoy every single bite. Think about the food as you're eating it (something people rarely do when dining with others). And try to be nice to your server, even if he/she resents that you're a smaller tab.
- Go to a movie. Hide yourself in a nook of the theater and enjoy the film.
- Take a long but spontaneous drive and blast your favorite music. Or for us transit-takers, hop on the bus or train without a plan and explore the city with your iPod as a soundtrack.
- Go to a museum and make your way through the exhibits at your own pace, without anyone hurrying you through your favorite periods or forcing you to look at Baroque Art (unless you actually like that sort of thing).
- Take photographs of interesting things. See what YOU notice and how YOU compose shots without letting anyone else dictate.
- Exercise. Go for a solo ride bike, go to the gym, go practice by yourself in a racquetball court, etc.
- Take a whole vacation by yourself. Solo travel is quite popular these days.
- Go to a sporting event and actually watch the event, which people sometimes don't get to do when they're out with friends.
- Go clothes shopping. Some people are incredibly reluctant to shop on their own, especially for clothing, but I think it promotes a bit of self-reliance: you pick what you want regardless of other people's opinions.
- Star gaze. However you want to do it - lying in the grass, sitting on a park bench, gazing from a window - there's something about staring up at a night sky that provides a sense of perspective.
- Order a banana split and eat it yourself. No sharing this time….let your inner 5-year old out. He or she will be glad that you're reveling in time alone with a gooey treat.
- Get a massage. And if you have a chatty massage therapist, tell him or her that you need some quiet time. They're paid to use their hands - not their mouths, right?
- Spend some time in a church or other place of worship. Even though I am an atheist, I occasionally stop inside a church to admire the art/architecture, reflect on religion in society, and spend time in a quiet place. If you're more religious, then you can always pray or meditate.
- Feed ducks, pigeons, or other birds (if it's allowed). I sometimes go to the park and do this in the early mornings, and I always delight in watching little duckies paddle over to me.
- Relax in a hot tub. If, like most people, you don't have one of those, then use a bathtub. Spending time alone in water can be tranquil.
- Perform random acts of kindness. Reveling in time alone doesn't have to mean totally forgetting other people. The other week, I took a bunch of extra change - just a dollar or two - and raced ahead of a Milwaukee parking enforcer, putting change in meters that were about to run out. It was fun!
- Buy a plant. Go to a floral shop or a greenhouse, and walk around until you find the plant you feel a connection with and buy it. Sure, I know that sounds weird, but do it anyway.