Review of 11 Trader Joe's Products

PMS begins with the standard bloating, irritability, and cramps, and some odd cravings. It also brings some rather large grocery bills. A trip to Trader Joe's caused PMS Girl to go a leeeeetle overboard with purchases, but PMS Girl's financial loss can be your culinary gain! Let me review for you all that I bought! And yes, I sampled all of this stuff in a 48 hour period!

Garlic Tandoori Naan - I like to sniff the bag it comes in. Mmmm, garlicky. gaaaaarrrlickyyyy

Hummus (4 flavors) - Freakin' awesome, especially with aforementioned naan bread. I want to make out with all four flavors. Garlic's my fave, though. Don't tell the other flavors; I told them they were my favorite.

Beef Tri-Tip Salad - I wish this salad was nothing but the beef strips. They're so good. What's this bitter crap in the salad? Radicchio? Listen, salad gourmets, I've had it with your bitter salad greens. We get it: there's 5 billion kinds of salad greens, not just iceberg lettuce. Now will you stop putting these nasty weeds in my salad? Holy shizzle, look at the fat content on this salad. Hope no one thought salads were healthy...

Belgian Chocolate Pudding - Gahhh, this crap is too chocolatey and sweet for me, so no one could possibly eat more than a spoonful of this at a time.

Cheese Enchiladas (frozen) - Why does red enchilada sauce always taste like it was made out of a metallic powder? Still good. Lots of sauce. Really, though, I just want the melted cheese in the middle.

Strawberry Yogurt O's (cereal) - I have never in my life eaten a cereal so hard to chew. My gums are sore. Not enough of those shriveled strawberries, too.

Clam Chowder (canned) - This is the blandest, most boring clam chowder ever. It's like eating that nasty reduced-sodium Campbell's crap. Even after I melted a hunk of butter in it.

Pastrami (cold cuts) - Jesus, I never thought a PMSing woman would say this, but this is too salty.

Chinese Beef Salad - Blech.

Green Chile Tamales (frozen) - fantastico tasty, especially with a little sour cream and salsa on top. Do not read the nutritional facts on the package. If you do, conveniently skip over the section with the word "fat".

Key Lime Pie - Mmmm, tart and limey. Key lime pie, I proclaim you "wicked awesome".