Review of Conan for the XBOX 360

I recently had the opportunity to play Conan for the Xbox 360 and attempt to relive the old stories by Robert E. Howard (Not the Conan movies from the mid 80's).
Unfortunately, my happiness was short lived.

The game's cinematics are nicely animated, but the character modeling looks horrible for a next generation console game. The textures are bland and the models are blocky. It seems the only thing graphically pleasing are the breasts on the topless "maidens" you rescue, which I find unnecessary.

The environments although nice looking lack size and the levels are extremely linear. It seems as if though the idea on paper was great, but when they started to execute the project, they ran into road blocks and then rushed it to meet the deadline. The musical score is good, kind of reminds me of God of War's epic background music. The sound effects are bland and the voice overs are destroyed by the ridiculous one liners they yell out all the time. The game is your basic hack n' slash repeated to death.

At first the combo system seems fun and intuitive, until you realize that it's easier to just repeat the same basic attacks over and over and over again.... Enemies are basically stupid, but when they mob Conan, you either run away to live another day or die against an army of enemies who swarm you. Bosses will be immune to almost all combo attacks that have more than 3 hits to them. Some attacks will not even connect because of some odd glitch in the system.

Controls are horrendous, having Conan go one way while you are trying to steer him another way and jumping will result in death many times. If you endure all that pain until then end like I did, prepare for a last boss that will make you want to sue the game developer for cruel and unjust punishment. The last boss will hit you with ridiculous shots when you have dodged them or you will get swarmed by the henchmen that spawn periodically. Spare yourself torture and just skip this horrible game.

I would write more, but this game doesn't deserve any more words. Please avoid it at all costs.