Review of EA Sports Total Club Manager

If John Madden, Sid Myers and a dash of Will Wright could somehow be spliced together through some slick genetic engineering, with the resultant offspring sent on a nice decade-long European vacation, the result would no doubt be something resembling EA Sports Total Club Manager.

"It's in the game," calls the slogan on every EA Sports game; fair enough, as they've earned a reputation for in-game accuracy and capturing the nuances of every sport they reproduce. Never before, however, has the slogan been as perfectly satisfied as in TCM. You want minutiae? This game delivers. You want complexity? Look no further. You want an education? Here it is, no textbooks required. But most of all, if you want everything, get Total Club Manager.

As good as the 2004 version was, the 2005 version is far more kink-free and logical in progression. It would be impossible to detail everything great about this game in 150,000 words or less. Or more. Trust me, it's in the game. Start with 10,000 players spread over 29 countries on five continents (How lovable are the scads of possible combinations in soccer games?), go through stadium specifics, paraphernalia sales, media coverage, player morale, fan morale, et cetera et cetera et cetera and you're getting a glimmering of the detail involved in Total Club Manager.

Total Club Manager kicks off (oooo, sorry) with the 29 nations "in which you may wish to work as a manager." The game recommends (as does this writer, highly) limiting the possibilities, as the grind gets heavy on the silicon side in terms of playing speed and overwhelming on the human side thanks to the sheer load of information the unsuspecting coach will be receiving throughout the years. Naturally, most countries are European, but exotic lands such as Mexico, Argentina (but no Brazil), South Korea and South Africa are also here. A most notable exclusion here is the good ol' U.S. of A., presumably due to differing contract structures. Every once in a while, an American name will hit the transfers list, but every time my European-residing coaches try to bag him, a pop-up indicates that a work permit cannot be secured.

The fun begins immediately after the formalities. Levels number five (from amateur to Football God) and gameplay modes number three: selection of an existing club; play career, in which three random clubs offer contracts; and - my favorite thing about Total Club Manager - creation of an original team from location to stadium to logos. Then comes the defining coach screen, whereupon four skills must be defined, all of which directly and clearly affect week-to-week play: motivation, coaching skills (read: intelligence), goalkeepers' training, and negotiation skills. But my favorite thing about Total Club Manager is the second-language option, with which the coach's opportunities for coaching increase, as does individual player motivation. The flip side to this neat little feature is that points are taken from your skills in exchange. And why are tongues like "African Dialect" and Japanese included when their leagues are not? Well, check this out: teams can be imported from other EA Sports soccer games for use with Total Club Manager.

Since it's in the game from A to Z, Total Club Manager allows reducing management responsibilities. There's managing the youth team and the reserve team; negotiating player contracts (remember that coaching skill?) and transfers; managing finances by means similar to EA Sports' Madden line, putting price tags on team gear and such; and in-game tactics. Though certainly possible to micromanage your club (there's even a special setting entitled "jack of all trades" for deadly serious control freaks), each round will progress at the pace of escargot, as one turn represents one week on the game's thirty-year calendar.

The main screen is the "News Centre." Centre, indeed. From here, you can control your soccer universe with an iron fist. Using the transfer procedure (my favorite thing about Total Club Manager) as an example, the News Centre will tell you the status of contacted players through the clever device of an email simulation. Handily accessed from here is the transfer list, though this is a bit bizarre as even inaccessible leagues' transfers are noted as well; will the transfer of Gyula Szabolcs from Budapest's Ferencvaros to Ujpest really have a great effect on the second division in England? All aspects (expect no less in TCM) of transferring are handled by the lucky coach as well…remember that "negotiating" skill at the beginning of the game?

Even after you find a willing player (players can refuse offers on the basis of "sporting interests" and then there are those work permits…) and agree with a club on transfer fee, the process can continue. Often your potential defenseman or midfielder will reportedly go home to Romania or Ghana or wherever to "think over your offer." The length of time said thinking takes can amount to a few weeks, representing dozens of turns plus one match per week typically.

Through practices go the squad(s), and the coach is even able to design a training regimen for the week to concentrate on goalkeeping, passing, sprinting and so much more. Players may have a dispute with the coach (check your email every day), which reduces individual and team morale, and thus performance in the upcoming game. Injuries do happen, of course, and off-field controversy can take down even the best of top division teams.

Finally, match day arrives. For viewing, four options are given. "Selected 3D Matches," in which you can watch your game in super-quick time (a standard ninety-minute match runs in about ten minutes), is clearly the best option to provide that sweet frustration that is the true soccer fan's milieu. "TV Show" presents highlights from up to twelve selected matches in the typical European fashion; the problem with this mode is the thirty minute running time. Other choices here include text and "Instant Results" version, which is known to EA Sports heads as "simming." Tactics and formations are chosen, and coach even has to motivate his squad at halftime with anything from happy-faced enthusiasm to "throwing a fit of rage." Now how many games of any kind have that button? Game graphics are of the traditional EA Sports fashion which, despite the hype, really haven't changed that much since, o about 2003. For button pushers, the option to "step onto the field" also exists, though offering slightly less control than that of EA Sports' FIFA games.

Then there's my favorite thing about Total Club Manager. Imagine my surprise as I attempted to twist my mind around the nuclear physics-level complexity of this thing for the first time when suddenly a pop-up informs me that Israel, Andorra and the Faroe Islands sought my services as national team coach. The three clubs switch from game to game, but who cares? This is an absolutely brilliant touch to an absolutely brilliant game. So guess what? Now, if you're managing

And this review could go on and on…there's a weekly on-screen magazine with information and interviews; currency settings in euros, dollars or pounds; all international tournaments; and even - check this out, my favorite thing about Total Club Manager -players can be given nicknames. Fantastic! All this plus a myriad more adds up to an excess of 1,500 turns (that's three times the number of Civilization's) of sheer soccer Valhalla. Total Club Manager 2006 promises a handful of further options (what in Pele's name could they have forgotten?) and cleaner graphics on information screens.

With EA Sports' greedily awaited NFL Head Coach on the horizon (though the PC horizon is now set in June for the game), sports gamer fans can only hope that half the stuff in this game will be applied to the even more ridiculously intricate game of American football.

If you are a soccer fan, get Total Club Manager. If you're an EA Sports game fan, get Total Club Manager. If you want a challenge, get Total Club Manager. It is, as they say, in the game.