Review of First Episodes of American Idol Season 8

Touted by producers as the biggest year yet, American Idol rolled out season 8 on January 13^th. The premiere was down 3 million viewers from last year, which is still quite a feat for a show kicking off an eighth season. This year the producers have promised big changes- a new judge, a speedier start and tons of talent. Premiere week, however, has delivered on just one of those promises, a new American Idol judge.

The addition of Kara Diogaurdi to the judges table seems, so far, to be a pleasant change. Diogaurdi, although occasionally a bitty on the sappy Paula end of the table, certainly has her "oh no you didn't "side. This was evident in her scuffle with the now infamous "bikini girl" contestant, whom she threw out the big bad b-word at. I get the feeling that the cross-me-and-I'll-cut-you Diogaurdi is the real Diogaurdi. Or at least I want the tough-girl Diogaurdi to be the real her. I have a feeling we will know by the end of season 8. I, for one, am keeping my fingers crossed for a Diogaurdi -Simon throw down.

Clip-worthy antics aside, Diogaurdi does seem to know her stuff. Watching her stare at the contestants you can practically see the ka-ching of dollar signs in her eyes. She frequently notes that certain people have the "whole package" or a great presence, evaluations that indicate she is used to quickly sizing up budding star power. All in all the show's potential for cat-fights and girl on girl kisses has increased tremendously- which is enough to keep this simple viewer tuned in.

So far, the producer's promises to move the try out episodes along faster have been entirely empty. The initial shows are simply too long, and they go on for too many weeks. How about 2 cities per show? An hour a city seems about right. I know there are thousands of contestants in each city, but seriously- the parade of freakishly bad contestants interspersed with "100% yes to Hollywood" phenoms is really only entertaining for about an hour total. They make us sit through 18.

The first few weeks are not where fans get attached anyway, no matter how many scenes Idol plays of contestants shuffling through their tornado torn homes, weeping for lost loved ones or caring for their half deaf grandmothers. Viewers know so many of the early contestants will crash and burn, so no one is picking a favorite in week one. Although Granny "THESE ARE MY CRAZY PILLS!" is my favorite person thus far, save her for the semifinal shows.

And therein lies the problem with the first few episodes of season 8. The lame attempt to get us more attached to certain contestants' is adding, not subtracting from the overall length of the try outs. Plus, it ruins the punch line. It's like watching the Olympics pre-recorded, you know we are only seeing the athletes they think we should care about. If you actually get to see some ice skater from Liechtenstein perform, they're getting a medal. And I am willing to bet my signed picture of Sanjay that any idol contestant with a featured segment this early in the game will be in the top 36 semifinalists.

Come on Idol, save the sap till after hell week. For now give us lots of clips of Seacrest high-fiving blind guys, Paula and Kara making out, Simon rolling his evil eyes and dolling out snark. Mix it up with a healthy dose of decent contenders, a brief freak parade and let's get to the real heart of the competition. I know many of your viewers are weepy 12 and13 year old girls easily attached to the saddest story and the dreamiest eyes, but some members of your audience are smarter than you think.