Review of G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Writer/director Stephen Sommers has always aimed for a very specific niche with his films. He goes for the often elusive "unserious fun"... more commonly thought of as "dumb but fun" by most movie goers. He's had his successes (The Mummy) as well as his abysmal failures (Van Helsing) in trying to strike the balance between popcorn fun and headache inducing stupidity. Thankfully with G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra Sommers has found his stride once again and delivers on the kind of disposable fun that is surprisingly hard to get right. Nobody can claim that this is a great film, but it's difficult to deny that it is a good time.

Based on the long lived toy line and borrowing the characters and general plot from the 80s cartoon and comic book, G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra is exactly what the title implies. While the members of G.I.Joe are certainly the heroes the story deals more with the coming together and creation of the villainous Cobra terrorist group, the arch enemies of the Joes. As the film opens arms dealer McCullen (Christopher Eccleston of 28 Days Later) has just made four special warheads for NATO. They use what's called nanomites which are microscopic robots that can be programed to do almost anything, in the case of the warheads they've been programmed to eat through any and all metal, never stopping until shut off manually with a "kill switch." Charged with delivering this hazardous payload from McCullen's factory to the Nato drop point is a commando squad including friends Duke (Channing Tatum of Fighting) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans of Little Man). The team is attacked by a mysterious group of soldiers wearing masks and lead by the Baroness (Siena Miller of Stardust). Most of the squad protecting the warheads are killed but Duke, Ripcord and the case containing the warheads are saved by Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje of TV's Lost), Breaker (Saïd Taghmaoui of Traitor) and Scarlet (Rachel Nichols of TV's Alias). They are all members of the officially non-existent G.I.Joe team, lead by Gen. Hawk (Dennis Quaid of Vantage Point) who takes charge of protecting the warheads and brings Duke and Ripcord along for the ride. It doesn't take the Joes long to realize that McCullen and his nefarious co-horts (which include a ninja, a master of disguise and a disfigured scientist) are attempting to steal the warheads back in order to upset the balance of power on a global scale.

To be blunt G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra is not a thoughtful film. It's goal is very humble, to grant the audience entertainment for two hours with no mental toll needing to be paid. That is not to say that the film is outright stupid (though last I checked ice always floats and doesn't come crashing down through the water) but it doesn't ask much of those who view it. Simply open eyes and enjoy. Thankfully unlike some of this year's earlier "brainless entertainment" (*cough* Transformers 2 *cough*) it's not just flashes and noise. As shallow as these characters may be they are still fun to watch and are each distinct from each other both visually and in personality. While the camera work is a little shakier than it needs to be it's not so bad as to make the action scenes impossible to follow (something that is a big problem with most modern action films). The film may not have much in the way in intellect but it's smart enough to know how to present the action and keep it moving forward at a good pace.

A large part of what makes G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra work is the cast. Nobody is doing a career making job, but then it's just not that kind of movie. However what they are doing is cutting loose and enjoying the broad strokes that their characters are painted in. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (500 Days of Summer) in particular seems to be relishing his role as the mysterious "Doctor" who is creating soldiers for McCullen. Eccleston as McCullen has a great swagger to him but his Scottish accent is somewhat forced (which is odd since he's from Northern England and his natural accent isn't that far off from what he's doing here). Tatum is appropriately straight-faced as the classic hero lead. It's also a nice change of pace to have him so eager to get in the fight rather than the reluctant hero which has become the standard in these sorts of films. Wayans is the comic relief one would expect but it's not as painful as it is when he's in a full on comedy. In trying to appear as a believable army type Wayans has reeled his usual antics in enough that they actually work more often than not. Also of note is Ray Park (X-Men) who plays the silent G.I.Joe ninja Snake Eyes. As he does frequently Park manages to take a character with no lines and virtually no face (though overly distinctive outline of his mouth seems ill-advised and is odd to look at) and make him fun to watch with engaging acrobatics and sheer presence. It also helps that he's given some backstory that lends some weight to his rivalry with Cobra's own ninja, Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee of Hero).

As with most Stephen Sommers films G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra is effects heavy. And true to form the effects are occasionally inventive but never really all that convincing. Sommers has never really bothered with seamless special effects or things that pass for "photo-real." He's more about the spectacle in and of itself and that remains the case here. Sommers is happy to simply get a massive underwater fortress beneath the polar ice cap up on the screen. He's not so concerned with making sure it looks 100% real. Thankfully though the effects aren't intended to be the whole point (unlike Transformers) and the actors interact with the CGI well enough.

So readers may be wondering, if the acting is good-not-great, the effects semi-convincing and minimal brain function needed what makes G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra worth seeing? Simply put Sommers has managed to perfectly capture the essence of boys with toys. Young boys playing with action figures tend to simply keep trying to one up each other and that's what Sommers has the forces of G.I.Joe and Cobra doing. To take a scene from the film and put it in boy terms it goes something like this:
"My guys get in the car and escape."
"Yeah but my guys have these suits that make them really fast so they can catch up to your guys."
"Oh yeah? Well my guys have rocket launchers on their car so they shoot your guys."
"Yeah? Well my guys' suits also let them jump and stuff so the missiles miss them!"
"Oh yeah? My guys have guns that shoot energy that knocks your guys back like 100 feet!"
"Oh yeah? Well one of my guys is a ninja and can dodge anything and he's on top of your guys' car!"
"Well my car can transform a scoop in the front so cars get tossed up over my car at your ninja!"
And so it goes. If what you just read brings any sort of nostalgic grin to your face then this film was made for you. Granted it is a decidedly male experience and anybody who doesn't connect to this boyhood fantasy will probably be left dumbfounded as to what the appeal is. But anybody who's ever spent an hour setting up their action figures with elaborate bases and weaponry in order to stage the conflict to end all conflicts will find that same joy rekindled here. As a side note you don't have to have played with G.I.Joe specifically for this to connect, I never owned the toys or watched the cartoons but I still related to what was being done very strongly.

G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra goes for a very specific effect and nails it. If the desired effect is lost on you (as it seems to have been on many critics) it may be better to stay home. But if your inner child perks up at all at the sight of a six inch plastic figure carrying a gun 3/4 his size then this may be the most fun you have this summer. It's completely disposable fun to be fair but in the end it is exactly what it should be. Ridiculous, overblown, illogical, bordering on hyperactive but just simple boyhood fun.

Final Score: 3.5 out of 5