Review of The Hitcher: As a Horror-Thriller Flick, This Movie Flunks

Sitting in the theatre with the three other people who showed up to witness the death of Sean Bean's (Silent Hill, Goldeneye) career, one alarming question came to mind: how did this movie ever get made? Surely someone at Rogue Pictures must have noticed that the plot goes nowhere, the characters are one-dimensional, and the action scenes border on comedic. It is hard to believe Rogue couldn't find a better movie to remake than a mediocre 1986 thriller. Nonetheless, some silver-tongued agent must have sold the producers on this dismal reinterpretation, leaving viewers to pay the price.

The film opens with a college couple, Grace (Sophia Bush) and Jim (Zachary Knighton), en route to spring break when they encounter a hitchhiking murderer on the barren roads of New Mexico. Not only could we care less about the couple, as the script fails to give them any back-story or character development whatsoever, the setup is infinitely contrived. It gets worse still. The couple, owing to their sheer lack of intelligence, eventually finds themselves on the wrong side of a police chase, speeding towards a predictable ending.

So what about the killer? Can the sole notable actor save this train wreck of a film? Unfortunately, no. John RyderSean Bean) hunts down the couple with the cunning of a superhero, always in the perfect spot, with no mention of how he acquires the transportation and weapons necessary to stalk them. In Bean's defense, he makes the character as convincing as possible. However, in a movie where none of the characters have motives, desires, or ambitions, creating a compelling portrait of dramatic life is doomed to failure.

The film is littered with missed chances to endear the characters to us. Director Dave Meyers gives us a few quiet scenes with Jim and Grace on scenic backdrops, but the dialogue and interaction never amount to much. Consequently, Hitcher fails to transcend the feel of a movie which has no tangible purpose. By the time the action picks up thirty minutes in, there is nothing more at stake than the lives of two boring college students.

As a horror-thriller flick, Hitcher flunks, unless we count the horror of watching a confused cast stumble through a needlessly resurrected script, and the thrill of leaving the theatre. Expect to partake in this thrill well before the ending credits if you have the misfortune of paying for admission to this pointless film.